Sometimes...

Sometimes I try and think of something to write and all I can think of is things that I do sometimes. Sometimes I brush my teeth just for fun. Sometimes I brush my teeth to stop myself from eating stupid cereal out of a ranch jar. Sometimes I wear a TON of jewelry. But that's only on Sundays. Sometimes I grab the skin on my stomach and rib cage and stretch it as far as it goes and pretend that I'm holding out an apron of skin. Sometimes I gag a little when I realize that I just typed that up there. Sometimes my eyes look green. Sometimes my eyes look like I just let a few lemons rest on them and I don't know why. Sometimes I realize that Josh is really gone and this makes me pretty sad. Sometimes I miss him a lot. Sometimes I befriend people on facebook to find out who they are, and forget to delete them when I realize I don't know who they are at all. Sometimes 'sometimes' means 'all of the time'. Sometimes I can't stop sweeping my floor. Sometimes I just let my floor be a mess. Sometimes I turn the light on in my closet just to feel like there's another land in there. Sometimes I think that I look better in pictures with my chin tilted down a little rather than straight on. Sometimes I get frustrated with my class mates for failing. Stop failing. Sometimes my roommates leave without telling me and I feel lonely. Sometimes I braid the carpet when I'm bored. Sometimes the sound of shoes on the ground is the most beautiful thing in the world. Sometimes I need to yawn more than I need to live and for the life of me, I can't yawn. Sometimes my hair looks so boring and I consider running to the salon and dying it something dramatic. Sometimes I find the PERFECT outfit and then a few seconds before I leave for the day I realize I look terrible and then spend way too long trying to find something else to wear and end up being pretty late. Sometimes I match red and green even when it's not Christmas. Sometimes I just stare at the sky when I'm walking. And wind up walking into things. But it's worth it. Sometimes the sky is the most beautiful thing in the world. Sometimes I beg for it to rain. Sometimes I misplace my graphing calculator and still can't find it and stress out just a little bit. Sometimes I get way too into the whole popular television thing. Sometimes the news makes me cry, and I stay up all night thinking about the people in the stories. Sometimes I wish I lived in books. Sometimes I doodle in church or school so I don't fall asleep. Sometimes I buy a wonderful clean new note book and don't want to mess it up so I always save it for that special day when something REALLY good will come up. Sometimes I don't want to take a shower. So I put it off. Sometimes I dance around my room in my underwear listening to all the pop tunes. Sometimes I find random things in random places and I don't know how they got there. Sometimes I laugh till it turns into crying because it feels like laughing is the same as throwing up my insides. Sometimes I draw on my kleenex box. Sometimes my computer drops the internet connection for no reason at all. And it happens a lot. Sometimes I practice blinking. Sometimes when I smile I bite my tongue through my front teeth. Sometimes I consider butter a spice. Sometimes something inside of me dies a little when I remember the day I ran through the rain and dropped my Dr. Pepper chapstick in the street and lost it forever. Sometimes I get frustrated with spell check for saying I spelled something wrong when really it's right. Sometimes I want to know why "Hulu - Glee: Throwdown" is in my most visited websites tab when I've only been there once. Sometimes I say something in my head and then look around awkwardly to make sure I didn't say it out loud. And people give me awkward looks. Even though I didn't say it out loud. Probably because I look awkward looking around awkwardly. Sometimes I meet a billion guys all at the same time and I really don't enjoy their company but I love being flirted with. This is why I don't know any of their names. Sometimes I snort when I laugh. Sometimes I pretend that I'm walking on a runway. Except I do that more than sometimes. Sometimes I feel guilty for spending money even though I need to so that I can have food an live. Sometimes I end my blogs with a statement about myself and then instruct you to do something "as you will."