All In A Day's Work, An Artistic Poem

Drive to work.
Rummage through car for badge.
Find badge.
French fry?
Turn off car.
Get out of car.
Freeze.
Freeze.
Freeze.
Rat trap.
Freeze.
Walk in building.
"MISS LARA MISS LARA COCONUT HEAD LARA LARA MISS LARA."
Scan badge.
Beep.
Breakfast.
"Why don't you drink cow milk?" "Because, I like soy milk..."
Cereal -> Floor
Cue children splashing and crying over the spilled milk.
Clean up
Circle time
"I want to sit on your lap!"
Move
"I want to sit on your lap!"
Move
"I want to sit on your lap!"
"No. All together, class, today is January, Friday, the Eighteenth."
"Teacher, she took my mat!"
Free play.
The next hour will be spent buried under a pile of 4yos.
Bathroom.
"Hahahahaha! Toilet!"
Too much time spent washing hands.
My hands hurt!
Free play.
"I wish I had golden hair. My black hair makes me boring." (Actual quote today, from a gorgeous four year old with beautiful shiny silky black hair.)
"LINE UP ON THE WALL, DO I HAVE TO HELP YOU-- GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW."
Sing The Princess Pat
Re-teach the newly learned concept of "Quiet Coyote".
Lunch
"I don't like it, it's green."
"I don't like it, it's crunchy."
"Miss Smith! The food looks funny when you smear it on your face!"
"LUNCH TIME IS OVER THROW YOUR LUNCH IN THE GARBAGE DID YOU HEAR ME I SAID--HEY. NO. WE DO NOT THROW OUR FOOD."
Nap time.
Fight off the energy of the four year olds and get them to sleep.
Fight off the power of the nap time music and stay awake.
Break.
Unbreak.
Wake up time.
Crying.
Crying.
Crying.
Snacks.
Get kiwi flung in the face.
Hand sanitize.
Lotion.
"Rub it in!"
"I have to go to the bathroom..."
In the bathroom:

 Him: I don't have to go potty.

Me: You said you did.

Him: No I didn't.

Me: I heard you say you did.

Him: No I didn't. 

Me: Well, we're going upstairs next, and you can't go potty when we're up there. So if you have to go, go now.

Him: I don't have to go.

Me: Ok, let's go then.

Him: I have to wash my hands.

Me; No you don't, we just put hand sanitizer and lotion on your hands.

Him: I have to wash my hands.

Me: Why do you have to wash your hands?

Him: To get the lotion off.

Me: In the winter, your hands get very thirsty. Hands drink lotion. If you wash it off, your hands will get thirsty.
Him: I have to wash my hands.

Me: Why?

Him: If they get thirsty, I have to give them a drink of water!
Me: They drink lotion!

Him: I have to wash my hands.

Me: Fine.

(Washes hands.)

Him: My hands hurt.

Me: Why? 

Him: They're dry... I need lotion.

Upstairs

Dog pile on Miss Lara

Lose half the hair on my head

Him: I have to go potty!

Of course. 

Potty.

Upstairs.

Clean up.

Downstairs

Circle time

"Sneezing on other people is gross, and will make them sick."

"Ewwww!"

Science time.

Mess of catastrophic amounts = Check

"Miss Lara! Emergency in the Ladybug classroom! (2yos)"

Enter Ladybug classroom.

Dog pile on Miss Lara

Lose half the hair on my head.

"No, you can't eat my hair..."
"Please don't spit, it's not nice."

"Get a tissue."

"Clean up time."
"Clean up time!"

"Hey Ladybugs, time to clean up!"

"We're not playing right now, we're cleaning up."

"Clean up!"

"ALRIGHT, EVERYONE IN THEIR CUBBIES. IF YOU CAN'T CLEAN UP, YOU SIT IN YOUR CUBBY." 

Clean up alone.

To the main room to wait for parent pick up.

Dog pile on Miss Lara.
"MISS LARA MISS LARA COCONUT HEAD LARA LARA MISS LARA."
Scan badge.
Beep.
Walk out of building.
Freeze.
Rat trap.
Freeze.
Freeze.
Freeze.
Get in car.
Turn on car.
French frie?
Lose badge.
Drive home.
Miss it until the next time.