Lara Ruins the Giraffe Riddle for Everyone

I'm taking German right now. German 1010. I took German in middle school and learned all of three words. I considered this grounds to take German 2 in high school! Foolish Lara. It was a silly choice to have made, and resulted in a lot of stress for me.

This semester, I found myself needing an extra 3 credits in order to qualify for my tuition grants, so I signed up for German 1010. It's one of my favorite classes. It's helped so much to have a husband fluent in German.

We've been learning about Du-commands, or informal commands. We don't really have these in English. I guess we do, actually, there just isn't a difference between informal and formal commands. So we so "Wash your hands" or "Clean your room". I've been having a lot of fun seeing how my classmates interpret German commands though. One classmate in particular seems to be under the impression that when someone commands you to do something in German, you are obligated to do so. So when someone in class gave the example of "Drive the train", he laughed and said that you can only use that command if someone KNOWS how to drive the train, otherwise you become responsible for the deaths of hundreds of people on the train. Um. Ok? Or how about, you can tell someone to drive the train, and they just say no? But apparently that isn't an option.

I've been frustrated with this giraffe riddle. (Fun fact: When you ask 2 year olds what sound a giraffe makes, you get weird responses. Example: A blood curdling scream.) The riddle goes like this:

"It’s 3 a.m., the doorbell rings and you wake up. Unexpected visitors! It’s your parents and they are here for breakfast. You have strawberry jam, honey, wine, bread and cheese. What is the first thing you open?"

You come up with an answer, email the person who posted it. If you get it right, you can keep your profile picture. If you get it wrong, you have to change it to a giraffe. There's been some speculation that this was started by hackers? That's false. That claim comes with quotes and statements from an article in 2004 put out by AOL. Don't worry, you're not being hacked.

I've seen people get it wrong and change their profile pic. I've seen people complain about having to be a giraffe, like it's the most inconvenient thing. Refer to my above story. When someone tells you to do something on facebook, turns out you're not under ANY obligation to do so! If you don't wanna be a giraffe, don't be a giraffe.

Furthermore, I'm sick of looking at giraffes, so people needa quit doing this thing. 

So here we go. I'm about to unleash a whirlwind of spoilers on you. What's the answer to this riddle?

#1- Open your eyes! It's 3a.m. You're asleep. You open your eyes first dummy. 

Sure, that's considering you were asleep at 3a.m. What if you weren't? What if you were partying? What if you are a college student during finals week? There's lots of reasons you were awake at 3a.m. Chances are, if your parents are coming over for breakfast at this time, you knew they were doing so, and are already awake, expecting them.  So...

#2 - Open the door.

Your parents are here. Open the door. It's just polite. Unless your house is a mess. Then maybe you'd wait a second. Or...

#3 - Open the wine.

Sounds like your day is pretty long already. Go ahead and open the wine, get going on that, then open the door. You might need it. Unless you're fine with them being over, and you want to make a nice impression. In that case...

#4 - Open the bread.

Get that toast going. You know how your mother feels about you not being prepared for guests. She calls you out on your hosting skills all the time. Unless you've got a great relationship with your mom, and it's your dad you need to worry about. So maybe you should...

#5 - Open the jam.

Your father has been getting after you because of your week scrawny arms. You've had a lot of unpleasant experiences in the past with opening jams and pickles in front of him. He always makes fun of you. Sure it might take you longer than others, but you don't need his judgement. Get the jam open before he even gets through the door, and you're in the clear!



Now is where we get all philosophical.

The most commonly accepted answers are your eyes, and the door. But look back at that riddle. Your eyes and the door are not on the list of things preceding the question. Logic implies that the question is referring to the list. Since the common answers are NOT on that list, then logic goes out the window. The question is blown wide open. You need the list to have the question make sense! Take that out of the equation, and the question no longer makes sense. The question potentially no longer applies to the riddle. The question becomes so broad. The question exists separate from the riddle. It's a separate question all on its own. So the question?

"What is the first thing you open?"

How do you mean? First thing you open today? Or first thing you opened in your entire life? 

There's no longer one right answer. 



Taking all of these into account, I don't see any reasons for anyone changing their picture to a giraffe. You're welcome facebook.