How To Offend in Five Syllables or Less

Earlier this week, I was cleaning out my closet, and I found this.

It's a scarf I got years and years ago, and haven't worn much since. 

As I pulled it out, it said "Lara.... why don't you wear me?"

I said "AHHHH AH AH AHHHHHHH! WHY ARE YOU TALKING?!"

We had a conversation.... it went something like this.

"Don't you love me?"

"Yes! Yes I do! I just... forgot to wear you! You're the prettiest scarf ever!"

"Alright... I'm pretty... so what? What am I good for? What else?"

"What more is there?"

And then it wadded itself up and threw itself on the floor. 

So I'm going to prove to this scarf that it is useful.

The Many Uses of a Purple Scarf

1. An incognito thing. For hiding from fans.

2. An actual scarf. Or noose. 

3. A face mask for living in the wild west.

4. A sash.

4. A handkerchief for waving goodbye to your lover gone to war.

5. A turban for hiding dark wizards growing on the back of your head.

6. A bow for when you don't want to do your hair. 

I've used all of them on a daily basis. Sometimes all at once. 

In other news, my exams are over! Tonight we're having a roommate party type-deal to celebrate the end of a semester. Pictures will ensue.