The last two days have been two of the hardest, most nightmare-ish days of my life. I'm not going to talk about them right now, maybe some day I'll talk about them, but at least for now, I'm not ready. I do want to talk about what I learned.
I learned a lot about how fortunate I am. To have two loving parents. They've been my rock. My father has been an example to me of peace in times of stress and he has been a great comfort in these hard times. My parents raised me right, and though I feel like falling apart at times, I remember them and I feel strong.
I'm fortunate to have a fiancé who has done so much for me, who, when lost for words, held me and cried with me. And who dropped what he was doing the second I asked for help and drove to give me a blessing. The way he has felt this hurt with me has, in a way, strengthened our relationship.
And above all else, I'm grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. His all encompassing sacrifice for every living being does not only provide a way to repent for those who have made mistakes, but it provides a place of refuge for those who are searching comfort. I've been amazed at how well God knows us. I prayed in agony Sunday night for a solution to everything running through my mind. On Monday, Joseph appeared on my doorstep in a suit to give me a blessing. The words of his blessing mirrored the words I cried to God the night before, as well as the words I felt in my heart as my prayers were answered.
When it rains, it pours. A life can change suddenly in the space of 24 hours, and a person can be left spinning, wondering what happened, where it all went wrong, because it doesn't make sense that this could happen and happen so quickly. However, it not only pours misfortune and sorrow. It pours blessings. Because God is mindful of His children and cries with them when they're hurting. And to those who turn to Him, He will show His hand and bless them in small ways and in large ways.
And in the end, when our feet and legs feel unable to bear our burdens any longer, He will carry us, and He will make our burdens light. The trials and pains will not be taken away, but they will be bearable.
I'm so grateful for my God and the support that my faith has been through my entire life. I so look forward to going to the Temple in a few days with my parents and my loving, wonderful, fiancé. Just three of the blessings that have come from this trial.
To those of you who are hurting for whatever reason.... Watch this. An amazing speech about not giving up when times get hard, and not losing faith in God because your will does not align with His.