1.30.2014

Early Morning Variety Show

Opening skit:

I'm hanging out in the Social Science building right now. It's about 7am, and I've been here for half an hour. A kid is walking around (He's maybe 8 years old). He's singing "Back in Black" by ACDC at the top of his lungs. Way to go kid. You're my hero. ACDC at this time of day is like drinking vanilla coke for breakfast. No... vanilla coke for breakfast is like listening to Aerosmith at this time of day. ACDC is straight up, original coca-cola, unless there's a carbonated coca-cola beverage that's stronger than that. And sometimes I drink vanilla coke for breakfast if I started off the day with a migraine.

Monologue:

No, I don't have a migraine this morning. I did yesterday, though. But today is a new day. A new day that started at 4am. I think I've got some kinda sleep issue though, because 4am doesn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, after I take my morning train nap, I'm fully awake. Maybe I'm a morning person. *Shudder*. Life should get better this summer. No more early classes. Well, maybe one early class. No more late classes, well, maybe one late class. No more school though. Just kidding. Lots of school. Racing to the finish.

Another Skit: (This is one of those skits where you watch it and you're like "AHAHAHAHA!" but you don't know what you're laughing at, and then you realize it wasn't funny at all. It was really sad. And you shouldn't have laughed.)

I drink water these days, that's my thing now. (Some day, like right now, I'll tell you how great it's been. I haven't gotten sick in a month! That's a record.) Roughly 8 refills on my water bottle a day. When you account for the fact that "re" in "refill" means again, it means my water bottle was already full before I refilled it, meaning, I must have drank the water. This is true. Except for yesterday. The water bottle was full but I didn't drink the water out of it, and yet it needed a refill! How did this happen? Well, I was zipping up my book bag and I saw that my water bottle was empty, so I needed to refill it. I reached my hand into my book bag and felt a micro splash. The lid to my water bottle was open. The button to release the lid on my water bottle is incredibly difficult to push. I can't push it with one hand. But somewhere in my book bag is a stronger hand that pushed it. So that's what the LOCK button on the bottle is for. Now all my notebooks have curly hair, and by hair, I mean paper, and by curly, I mean wet and wrinkly. Still wet? Yes. Maybe moldy? Maybe.

News story:

Moving on Saturday. You already know that. It's cool. I'm hoping to make couple friends in Provo. I'm hoping to find lots of free cool things to do. I'm hoping to make Temple attendance a very regular thing, seeing as we'll be in the same city as a Temple. I'm hoping to read the political news stuff just as much as the other news stuff. I've got an affinity for depressing news stories, and tend to stick to them. Maybe political news stories are depressing too? We'll see.

Closing skit:

This kid in my preschool, let's call him "L", he's 4 years old. He is never satisfied. He wants to go outside, but when we go outside, he complains the entire time. He wants to play upstairs but when we go upstairs, he complains about not being outside. We've been going upstairs, though, because it's cold outside, sometimes the air is "bad", and sometimes kids are sick. So we go upstairs. We were playing duck duck goose, and L got bored. Who gets bored with duck duck goose?! No normal four year old, let me tell you! NO NORMAL FOUR YEAR OLD. But he did. And he came over and said "Can we go downstairs and have lunch?"

"Yeah we're going down in just a minute."
"Can we go down in two hours?"
"What? L, two hours is a very very long time away."

He went over and cried in the corner until I told him we would be going downstairs sooner than two hours. And then we went downstairs.

He has a firm belief that hours are the shortest unit of time. Maybe to him, they're the only unit of time.

Closing monologue:

Thank you all for coming! I'd like to thank Aerospace and ACDC, YOU'VE BEEN A GREAT AUDIENCE!

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