Burning up for you baby

Quick! Lara! While you're feeling weird write something! I think I have a fever. I don't know. I'm sick and I was just writing and some of the weirdest stuff was coming out of my fingers. I think they were magic sparks but I don't know. Oh, also, the words I was typing were pretty strange. It's moments like these when the best things come to my brain.

Have you ever noticed how brain looks like bran? Because I have. Not only the word, but the actual objects. Then again I'm not exactly sure what bran looks like. I know bran muffins. Those don't look like brain. Neither do bran cereals. But bran cereals are NASTY. That's right! I said it! Gross! I ate raisin bran all the time when I was growing up, and I only liked it for the raisins. But there comes a point in every child's life when they realize raisins are strange. And you become a teenager and hate them. I wish I still liked raisins. Because I loved getting those little boxes and eating raisins out of them. You can't do that with anything else! Try shoving some uh... bits of salad in there! It won't last. It never will. Then you grow older and raisins are ok again.

I wish that I had a mechanism in my mouth that brushed my teeth all the time. Like a mini tooth fairy that didn't steal my teeth, she cleaned them! Because the feeling of a clean mouth rocks my socks off. The feeling of an unclean mouth does the same thing too, since I can't stand to wear socks when my teeth aren't brush. I can't stand to wear much of everything. That's why I usually eat right before I take a shower. Then I brush my teeth. Then I get ready for the day. Then I mouthwash. Then I put my stuff in my book bag. Then I floss and then mouthwash again. Then take a sip of water to make my teeth not blue (I have blue mouthwash) Then I go to school.

Apparently my ritual of dental hygene was crucial. Heaven knows why. But I just spent a paragraph talking about it.

When you're young and free, going to the store is awesome. But then you grow up and realize that you HAVE to go to the grocery store if you want to LIVE! Well I'm tired of the store. Things in life lose their savor when you're dependent on them for life. Like respiration. And brushing your teeth. And going to the grocery store. I have faith that in the next life these won't be necessary. Actually I don't know. But one can hope. We'll see about respiration though. We'll just see. We'll all see.

There is a pitcher of water sitting on my table. Sometimes we have guests over for dinner. And we whip out the pitcher for them. But we never drink a full pitcher. So there is always some water left in there! What are you supposed to do with it? I don't know! In some places having a pitcher of clean water is an amazing thing. A miracle. A blessing. But here it's common. However, for some reason no one in our house can bring ourselves to throwing that pitcher of water down the sink. Well, the water, not the pitcher. But we can't bring ourselves to drink it! That's gross! Drinking water that's been on the table for a few seconds/hours/days/weeks/months/years. Nasty! So it just sits there. Festering disease and breeding havoc.

Havoc. That's the word of the day. Spelled backwards, you might think it says canoe. But it doesn't. It says covah. Close enough.

This has been your public service announcement of why your teacher should cancel class if she's sick. So that she doesn't cough and breathe all over everyone and get us all sick. Who cares about congress? We care about being healthy and sane!

As you will.


Kellie said...

I had a laugh that sort of got stuck. I was right between yelling "WHERE DID SHE COME FROM?" and laughing my head off! Oh, my, Lara. You make my day!!!

Kellie said...

And what does "undriver" mean? That was the word I had to type in. The security code. What in the world does it mean?

jacquelineada said...

I love respiration! It's the best thing ever, and it will never get old! So underrated. I mean, it's like... You know that feeling you get when you're so so so thirsty and all you can think about is a cool glass of water on a hot day, and then finally you GET that glass of water and it's the most blessed relief and it feels like the greatest moment of your life thus far?

That's what it's like every time I breathe.

Lara said...

Jackie, I love you.

Becca Smith said...

EVERYONE loves Jackie.

chip said...

Lara, you are the coolest person I have never met.