Around The World In 24 Hours

Wooo! Sorry, another late post, but HEY! Look at that title. I have a good reason. I was traveling around the world in 24 hours.

It started out a normal Saturday, woke up, ate food, got ready to study... and then my bff from Ogden called! Julie yayyy! Julie said she and my other bff Teagan were coming into town for the day, and asked if I wanted to meet up with them.

BOY DID I EVER!

I got ready, went grocery shopping, and met them in France for crepes. A lovely little shop called Luna Berry. If you ever get the chance to eat at a Luna Berry, do it. I had the most amazing vegetable crepe ever. Ever. Like... ever. And a delightful little cup of frozen yogurt as well.

After France, we thought it would be nice to swing by good ol London.

How could this place have existed my entire life without my knowledge!? People! I could LIVE here. It's full of cute little candies and tea pots, all sorts of chocolates, that wicked awesome post office box, double decker bus models, and.... HARRY POTTER PARAPHERNALIA! Guys! That's Voldemort's wand! I'm not even kidding!

I walked away happily with a small double decker bus key chain with real wheels on it. I mean... it actually rolls around.

We thoroughly enjoyed Europe, but it felt like it was time to move along. Next stop: Asia.

This store wasn't as adorable. But they had so many interesting things in there. It was wicked awesome. And pretty much nothing was in English. But a few things were! 

You know that thing of where they translate something into English but kinda miss the mark or something, and you don't know what they were going for?

Yeah. 

They offer admiring feelings of a graceful lady.

I ran into a classmate from writing in this lil Asian food market place. She was shocked and astonished to see me without my scooter. Instead I kinda freaked out and showed her my double decker bus.

Asian store customers aren't very impressed with small double decker buses.

Last stop was Mexico or something. I dunno.... whatever store you go to when you want to get spicy food.

Those peppers will kill you. Don't eat them. 

It was a great day, but the time came to say goodbye. We caught our separate trains....

And said farewell.

I walked home completely exhausted.... and while I shuffled my feet, and recalled all the good memories from the day, I cast my eyes to the ground and found this.

Hello Salt Lake City, it's good to be back home.

Awkward Tango

We all know the awkward turtle, right? How many of you know the awkward tango?

It's that thing of where you're walking, and you see someone, so you move to the right to let them pass, but then they move the same way, and so you keep moving back and forth and back and forth until someone just stops and walks and it's super awkward?

Imagine that. Except with Trax. And a scooter. Yeah. That's what happened today.

There's this little cross walk at the trax station that lets you get from one side to the other, and the trax go right down it. Well... a trax was getting ready to go. And I was waiting to cross. So the director was super nice, and she smiled at me, and kinda waved me on. Like... go!

So I started rolling. And so did she.

We both stopped really fast. Which is saying a lot for a thousands of pounds trax train. She shook her head at me. And then sat there for like 10 seconds. So I stared at her with a confused look, and started rolling forward on my little scooter again. And trax started inching forward at the exact same time.

She stopped again and stared at me, shaking her head really hard, looking like she was about to cry. I tilted my head to the side. And then tilted more. And then tilted more.....

Let's just say... in the awkward tango of Trax vs scooter, scooter always wins.

Also in the battle of yogurt vs Greek yogurt, the Greek wins.

Also in the battle of Lara vs Human Development exam, Lara wins.

Also in the battle of moving stuff into my new house, I win. I'm not sure who I was fighting against, but I win.

This Little Mind of Mine

I've had lots of random thoughts bouncing around my head today. It's about time I put them all together.

My toothpaste as of late has born a remarkable resemblance to celery. Not the look of it... the taste.

Sometimes you might feel like it's really cool to do the college thing and be a college person and act like college people do, so you decide to eat Doritos for breakfast. This is almost always a bad choice. And it will ruin you for the rest of the day.

I was told to take one of my medicines twice a day. I kinda felt like looking at the pharmacist and saying... "That's not vague at all." So I took one this morning at 9am. And then I took another at 11:30am. Here I am, at 9:21pm... and I think I did it wrong. I think I should space out the times which I take my medicines. I think my doctor should have been more specific! The bottle doesn't tell me anything either. It just... exists. In its state of ORANGE.

Kshh kshh....

Does anyone know how to properly fix a straw hat? A straw fedora to be exact? And where should fedoras fit on your head? Should I just buy a new one? I'm kinda feeling that way. I would do that this weekend... maybe. We'll see.

Maybe I should go to the Gateway this weekend. I have no shorts to wear. Is it appropriate to buy shorts at this time of year? I don't even have capris and SUMMER IS COMING people. So be ready. I just don't know.

The thing is.... while I want shorts.... what I need is a new MP3 player. I want one for a good deal though. Because mine is getting to the point where it's unusable. Today it only played 2 songs over and over again. I couldn't switch it at all. It drove me to insanity, and then back pretty fast because I had some homework to do, and it wanted to respect my schooling and have me home at a decent hour so my roommates wouldn't ask questions.

But they did anyways.

No, what I NEED is a pet fox. Not a bunny. Not a gerbil or whatever... a fox. Turns out you can only buy them in Russia or something, so here's the plan. Gain readers in Russia. Write really heart wrenching, moving blog posts. Solicit them to send me a fox.

It's easier than not having a fox.

Next time you eat a Werther's original candy, before you pop that baby in your mouth, ask yourself first.... "Is this a hard candy? Or is it a soft caramel with the texture of smooth chocolate?" The answer might surprise you. I know it surprised me.

Is it just me, or can you never remember the exact taste of a Werther's Original hard candy unless you eat one? There's something strange about the soft caramels..... they don't taste like Werther's Originals. Are Werther's butterscotch?! Does anyone have answers?

Tomorrow is Thursday, and though I have an exam on Friday, this particular Thursday, I have one goal and that goal is thus.

Find a way to launch myself in the air and rescue these shoes from the telephone wire. They hang down in the middle of Douglas Street. I like it.... that's why I want to take them and move them to Elizabeth Street so they will stay with me always.

I used to believe that the reason tennis shoes were slung over telephone wires was to make it so that airplanes could see the wires, and not fly into them.

Today? I still believe that same thing. So I really apologize if I cause some sort of accident by thiefing these shoes.

My plan so far involves my scooter, a bottle of soda, 2 nail clippers, several sticks of soda chapstick, and all the energy I can muster. 

The Magical World Of Magic

Survivor's log, February 2, 2011:Today is day 4... rations are running low... the wind is blowing hard.... my toes are growing numb, and my hair is falling out. I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this blog-a-lot thing.... I think it's killing me.

There you go, just a bit of drama for your life! Actually I'm having fun blogging lots. It's expanding my creativity or what have you, and maybe I can even use one of these entries some day for a assignment in my writing class.

Actually that's a neat idea. Alright.

EVERYONE THIS IS INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT!!!!!

I have an assignment due in class on February 24th! My writing class! I'm supposed to read a sample of my writing, it can be anything, really. But this is an honors class, so they expect something kinda no lame, you know? So vote!

That's right! Up until... how about February 20th? You can vote! VOTE YOU HOGS! Vote on what blog you think I should read in class. You can say "This one!" in the comments or whatever. So yeah. Just, what do you think would be interesting for the class to read? I love you darlings.

Alright. The Magical World of Magic.

Does anyone here know what my last profession was? I was a Magician's Assistant. Isn't that awesome? That's my most favorite thing in the world, being able to say "I was a magician's assistant! What were you, a ham sandwich? Oh... sorry..."

But unfortunately life got in the way, I took on a lot of class work this semester, and I was unable to continue work as a Magician's Assistant. But I am looking for another job if you know anyone hiring? No fast food. Or grocery store. That's the law. Thanks I love you.

Goodness, I'm so lovey dovey to you all today!

Also relating to magic... does anyone else get really emotional watching those Disney commercials? You know the ones... where the parents surprise the kids that they're going to DisneyPlace, and they freak out and get so excited. Yeah. Those ones. They make me almost-cry every time. And if I'm eating mac-n-cheese, I'll probably let out a loud sob too. I don't know what it is... but they really hit me hard.

Today's blog entry asked me to post a picture of my friend. But you know... that's not cool. I have many friends. So I'm going to post a picture of all of us together. Keep in mind... if you're not in this picture, it doesn't mean I don't love you. It just means you're not in the picture. Sorry.

Once upon I time I was in high school... I know I know... weird, right? Because I'm so old and mature right now? And I was in band. And we all went to Disney Land together.

Gracious, if you ever get the chance, GO TO DISNEY LAND with your friends! It's the best!

I'm gonna show the friends from left to right and tell you something about them.

Amy Vogel Higgs:

In this picture she is Amy Vogel. You see... Amy got married this summer. My comrades and I went to her reception. It was really traumatic for all of us... the wedding was beautiful, Amy was stunning, and she and her groom looked as happy as could be. But it was a big reality check for us kiddies that we weren't really kiddies anymore. Amy is awesome :) I'm glad she's happy, because it makes me happy! Amy has the coolest talents. She can play the accordion, and she can hula dance! And she can play the Clarinet but you know... whatever... Heh heh heh. Amy has the best taste in all things music/movies/ and stuff like that. Amy can always make me laugh, and always make any time the best time ever.

Julie Vogel:

Julie... Julie... Julie.... This girl and I were meant to be sisters. I'm pretty sure. She has always been so supportive of me in everything, and she's not afraid to metaphorically slap me across the face and tell me straight up that I'm messed up. We have the best times together, talking about everything. We grew up in the same ward, went to the same school, were buddies all through Young Womens. I love Julie, I really do. She's one of the greatest friends I've ever had, and I would drop everything in a moment's notice to help her.

Don't look at the person to the right of Julie, she's ugly. We'll skip her.

Next!


Sarah Jo Harris:

Sarah moved to my high school when I was a sophomore. She was exactly what we needed... an oboe player. What really struck me is how well she 'hit it off' with everyone. She was immediately friends with everyone. She's dead smart, she's got wicked talent on oboe and naming broadway songs.... but my favorite thing is her sense of humor. She wrote a murder mystery type series my junior year in high school that turned into kinda a big deal. It involved the characters of marching band, and it was so intense. For Christmas she gave me a copy of the work all put together with illustrations. Sarah, I hope you know I read that book once a week. I love it dearly. I love Sarah dearly! Sadly, Sarah is going to BYU-I. And I go to the U. I miss Sarah!

Cheryl Knight:

Look at her! She's so darling! She's sweet and innocent. But she's also one of those people who says things that make everyone go "WHAT?!" You wouldn't expect her to say that haha! She is so wise. She is so hilarious. She is a boy magnet. She can play the viola like nobody's biz-nas. And she's going to the U with me! Here's the thing... our campus is kinda huge. So we don't run into each other much. But we should! Cheryl! Ring me up some time!

And last, but not least

Jacqueline Ada Loveland:

One day my sophomore year, Jackie and Brittany came up to me. And they pretty much proposed friendship. I didn't know people did that! But they did. Jackie has been with me through thick and thin. Sometimes she drives me crazy, but that's what we do. We talk about everything and anything. And sometimes nothing. We can have conversations and really have no idea what went down, it's that silly. Jackie has the craziest adventures. She too is a boy magnet. You know, really, all these girls are. I just talk to Jackie about it more. And she's a verifiable genius.

Looking at this picture right now, I realize someone is missing. And that is

Brittany Daniels:

Brittany was playing with boy toys when this picture was being taken, so she's not here. But we missed her. Brittany and Jackie... those two... we've been through thick and thin. We fight, we break up, we hug, we make up... and every Christmas we find ourselves presenting fancy underwear as gifts to each other. Brittany and I didn't plan very well when we picked out schools.... we wound up being like... 3 hours away from each other. And that's not cool in my book. But weekends find us partying up in Ogden. You know those people who you can make eye contact and both laugh hysterically over something that wasn't even said, but was understood by both parties? She's that person for me. And no one else is. We've got a soul connection or something! I miss my Brittany!

I miss all of my friends really.... but you know,

The great thing about us is it's never really goodbye, just "See You Later..."

A year in my life

Well, today is a big day for many reasons! First off, it's Thursday. I mean, come on. Who doesn't love Thursday? Second off, I'm going home tonight and we're totes going 2 watch lyke teh best show EVUR . Third off, my buddy Jackie is now 18! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACKIE! But 4th, and probably most exciting reason for me at least, is that it is December 9th, 2010. Officially one year ahead of December 9th, 2009, and one year behind December 9th, 2011. Why is this important? Well on the day of December 9th, 2009, my best friend entered the MTC as Elder Joshua Brian Rice.

I am waiting for a missionary. That's not exactly a phrase that I like to have tattooed onto my back though. (It's like a tramp stamp, only higher.) I'm going to go into this blog post the same way most people go into their Sacrament meeting talks.

In the dictionary under the word "wait" we read "To remain inactive in a state of response until something expected happens."

Now this is where we drop all Sacrament-meeting-ness.

That's bologna! Yes! Complete and total bologna! I belong to a group of girls called MGs, and we are all waiting for missionaries in one sense or another, and I've got to say, from the ones that I've gotten to be friends with, none of us remain inactive in a state of response.

These two years of existence are big years for Elder Rice. Quite possibly the best years of his life. You'd think that through entropy, that would make these two years the worse of someone else's life, and using Murphy's law, you'd think that would be me. But like I said before. BOLOGNA!

I have done so much with the last year of my life, it has been incredible. I do not think there has been a time of my life that I have done so much, and I really mean that. To prove the point, I have compiled a list of 365 things that I have done in the time that Elder Rice has been gone. So take it or leave it.

1. Eat sushi
2. Freeze whence camping
3. Learn to use busses
4. Attend WSU
5. Perform in Wind Ensemble
6. Play some jazz piano
7. Attend Jr. Miss as an audience member this time around
8. Play a Steinway
9. Learn to love USPS
10. Learn to hate USPS
11. Learn to appreciate a good mailman who comes on time.
12. Discover ways of making juice last forever (almost)
13. Burn rice really badly
14. Take care of a plant
15. Watch that plant take it's dying breath in my arms
16. Perfect the art of macaroni
17. Learn to never watch Bones and eat macaroni at the same time
18. Get a good weekly does of escalator riding
19. Try on crazy wedding dresses at the DI
20. Take AP Stats
21. Pass the AP Stats test
22. Be the only one at OHS to pass the AP Stats test
23. Skip school just because
24. Write my own grocery list several times
25. Be called as a visiting teacher
26. Be called as a Sunday school teacher
27. Attend girl's camp
28. Graduate YW
29. Apply to BYU
30. Apply to the U
31. Apply to a billion scholarships
32. Get over my fear of auditioning
33. Get my own camera
34. Discover my favorite pen
35. Start a blog!
36. Learn how to substitute absurd ingredients
37. Learn that it doesn't always work out too well
38. Drive a neat car
39. Try to learn manual transmission (Note, TRY is the key word.)
40. Develop a love of vacuums.
41. Develop a hate of 'fake dirt'
42. Find the perfect size of milk bottles
43. Perform with the best marching band in Utah
44. Laugh uncontrolably
45. Discover the value of sunscreen
46. Realize that not all sunscreen works like it says it will.
47. Use a (mini) grill
48. Recieve a grenade
49. Attend a masquerade 
50. Dance in the snow
51. Learn how to pack (for moving)
52. Pack (for vacations)
53. Almost finish the Old Testament (I've got just a few pages left!)
54. Maintain sanity in reading the book of Numbers
55. Go to many sleepovers
56. Become an avid blog follower
57. Burn 1 batch of cookies
58. Burn 2 batches of cookies
59. Ruin several boiled eggs (They weren't boiled too well.)
60. Become the best toast maker EVER!
61. Attend a Utah-BYU game
62. Have my own house
63. Do dishes by hand lots
64. Realize plain grapefruit juice is acceptable
65. Teach Sunday school
66. Learn to ask what time it is like a pro
67. Learn to ask what time it is in SPANISH like a pro
68. Realize the purpose of mouthwash
69. Write a LOT of letters
70. Give someone a Book of Mormon
71. Own a pair of tall tall shoes!
72. Become really good at walking in heels.
73. Walk to church lots
74. Go to ward walk-abouts
75. Develop an understanding love of turkey in the right season
76. Learn to enjoy skiing
77. Fall off a ski lift
78. Watch lots of Fringe
79. Own my own computer
80. Learn to play organ
81. Yell at the characters on the thrilling TV series Fringe
82. Play organ in sacrament meeting 3 days after learning how to play organ
83. Realize the purpose of rainboots
84. Learn to not walk up steep slippery icy hills in shoes with no tread
85. Learn to not RUN up steep slippery icy hills in shoes with no tread
86. Perform in the Youth Spectacular with 3000 youth
87. Get really frustrated at early morning rehearsals for the Youth Spectacular
88. Learn some sign language
89. Realize that sign and sing are made out of the same letters
90. Go to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple
91. Learn how to spell Oquirrh
92. Attempt to find a difference between Paradise Bakery and Zuppas
93. Develop a budget
94. Fly on an airplane
95. Go to Chicago
96. Watch my team lose.
97. Watch my team lose BADLY.
98. Watch my team win.
99. Buy my own dish soap
100. Have Chicago style deep dish pizza
101. Learn that shrimp... it's ok!
102. Learn not to force people to eat shrimp that don't like it
103. Learn to not look away when forcing people to eat shrimp that don't like it
104. Learn to have a camera out and rolling when forcing people to eat shrimp that don't like it
105. Go to lots of dances
106. Climb a mountain
107. Wear socks with sandals
108. Look for snow in July when everyone is suffering from heat exhaustion
109. Learn that heat exhaust is different from heat stroke
110. Learn that people suffering from heat exhaust or heat stroke are like vampires
111. Go to improv comedy
112. Use Microsoft paint a lot
113. Learn to draw stars really well
114. Discover my own style
115. Become great at writing essays
116. Express distress in school
117. Meet several crazy people at the store
118. Meet even more crazy people on Trax
119. Discover the big deal about Pandora
120. Befriend someone with the same  name as me
121. Read political cartoons in politics
122. Learn lots about politics
123. And actually enjoy it
124. Graduate high school
125. Become great at making videos
126. Learn the value of recording videos
127. Learn to speak science
128. Learn to speak political science
129. Laugh at stupid things
130. Attend  the only world ranked university in Utah
131. Get accepted to BYU
132. Turn their chubby face DOWN
133. Stare at a wall of butter for a long time trying to find the best deal
134. Learn how to hang things on walls without nails
135. Skip pretty much everywhere
136. Walk on a moving side walk and feel like a friggin model
137. Make funny faces in a mirror for hours
138. Complete the Hunger Games series
139. Fill up an entire journal
140. Hide offline for a long time to avoid people
141. Learn how to press leaves really well
142. Realize that 365 is a big number
143. Realize that it's easier to stay awake in church functions when drawing
144. Learn the value of organization
145. Learn how to text when I can't see what I'm typing
146. Learn how to live with a broken phone
147. Learn to love that broken phone as if it was my own child
148. Do 200-300 pushups every night
149. Learn more names than I though possible in a very short amount of time
150. Develop a means of talking to people that know everything about me, but I know very little about them
151. Meet the President of the University
152. Consciously choose mathematics over music
153. Spend a reasonable amount of time crying over unreasonable things
154. Spend an unreasonable amount of time being really happy over reasonable things
155. Spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to spell 'amount'
156. Learn some crazy dancing
157. Realize that I don't much enjoy dances
158. Realize that I really enjoy dancing
159. Realize that Jason's Deli is way better than anything they have in Chicago
160. Realize that if you want to do something cool in SLC, get a move on it, because stores close soon
161. Get my own credit card
162. Get my own check book
163. Inhabit the most amazing college 'dorm' ever
164. Eat a liver detox
165. Somewhat enjoy the liver detox
166. Realize that the liver detox was meant to be drunk, not eaten
167. Stay up really late watching movies on Google
168. Go to the movie theaters by myself
169. Go to the movie theaters with lots of people
170. See Inception
171. See Sherlock Holms (Several times)
172. Learn lots of cheers
173. Perform for the biggest audience of my life
174. Be boo-ed by the biggest audience of my life
175. Realize that fast Sunday makes my tummy unreasonably small and unreasonable 
176. Grow my hair out, if even just a few inches
177. Experiment with bangs
178. Settle on straight across bangs
179. Change clothes whenever I get home from school because sweats are more comfortable
180. Seriously consider wearing ugly clothes so I can go on What Not To Wear and get lots of money
181. Turn the game boggle into a violent game
182. Learn that everyone should live for per diem
183. Learn that saving per diem is awesome! 
184. Learn how to manipulate people to do what I want them to
185. Use prepositions to end sentences with
186. Go to Temple Square
187. Go on an AWESOME behind the scenes tour of the Conference center
188. See Savior of the World
189. Get to be pretty much bff with my lil brother
190. Get to be pretty much bff with my lil sister
191. Wonder why the word sister is so much shorter than the word brother
192. Get to be pretty much bff with my momma
193. Get to be pretty much bff with my daddy
194. Learn how to engage in intelligent conversation with people much older than me
195. Recognize a value in studying
196. Recognize a value in windex
197. Learn how to manipulate light so that it does what I want in pictures
198. Learn that the light around my dresser can not be manipulated, and I will never be able to see the clothes in my drawers in a decent light
199. Purchase my own vitamins
200. Drive ATVs like a mad-woman
201. Teach young children to drive ATVs like mad women
202. Attempt to make wookie noises and fail
203. Sigh at the lack of Disney Land in my life
204. Appreciate real pianos as opposed to fake pianos
205. Sneak ice cream from my roommates that doesn't need to be snuck, they said I could eat it, but sneak it anyways
206. Wish most passionately that snuck is a word
207. Carry a tent a very far distance
208. Become an administrator of Waiting For A Missionary
209. Set goals on restricting computer usage
210. Cope with the lack of natural light around winter time
211. Be subject to the most brutal and dangerous cold temperatures of my life thus far
212. Recruit for my marching band
213. Be a member of a marching band with some of the most wonderful people in the world
214. Learn how to say "That's what she said" in so many manners
215. Become subject to a mock psychology session
216. Yell at a man's dog
217. Chase rabbits around campus for a while
218. Play guitar some
219. Think of a billion analogies
220. Spend probably half of my life waiting for trax/frontrunner/uta bus
221. Perfect the puppy eyes that will get a person to give you a ride
222. Realize that it's better walking barefoot in the snow than wearing shoes that are soaked through in the snow
223. Leave my window open as I fall asleep to listen to the music of the night (It's really there, I think my neighbor plays music or sings or something.)
224. Make lots of lists
225. Make hundreds of friends in a short amount of time
226. Spell amount right for the first time without using a spell check or even pushing backspace once
227. Talk in a British accent for a week and drive my family crazy
228. Develop a wicked awesome valley girl accent
229. Develop a killer memory
230. Write several essays and prepare for several exams/quizes all in one night
231. Understand a love in the simplicity of a sandwich 
232. Realize that going to the grocery store isn't 'all-that'
233. Cut my own hair
234. Make it an entire year without coloring my hair (That makes 18.5 total!)
235. Buy dry ice
236. Throw a surprise party that sorta failed
237. Be the subject of a surprise party that completely rocked
238. Maybe sorta become a Gleek
239. Use lots of printer paper, but somehow never run out
240. Watch some Asians dance
241. Talk to my German foreign exchange students
242. Ride a scooter everywhere
243. Learn how to brutally humiliate people that make fun of my scooter
244. Realize that it's not that brutal
245. Wish pretty much every day that my hair was much longer
246. Learn how to save jewelry that probably would fall apart otherwise
247. Do my own laundry, if rarely
248. Do my own dishes lots, and even do my roommates dishes sometimes
249. Let my mom do my own dishes and my roommates dishes once
250. Become completely inconsolable for laughing
251. Expand the range of music that I find entertaining
252. Own a Scentsy 
253. Visit the Rice's lots
254. Miss the Rice family more than I miss Elder Rice sometimes
255. Have senior pictures taken
256. Learn to harmonize pretty wicked well
257. Become a magician's assistant
258. Perform in a magic show
259. Joined a sorority
260. Learned the lyrics to so many songs
261. Went to General Conference
262. Watched people swallow goldfish and then realized I couldn't live with the guilt of doing the same
263. Bought a really cool water bottle
264. Attended orientation
265. Met a guy who's name was spelled Rajfier, but pronounced Rage Fire
266. Made people laugh
267. Listened to several songs over and over. And over
268. Discovered the magic of frozen yogurt
269. Discovered the magic of Owl City
270. Visited several stores looking for a certain pen
271. Became something of an expert in picking out ties
272. Learned how to show in the gateway
273. Marveled at the fact that my skin does indeed sparkle in the sun
274. Smeared my face all over with oatmeal and eggs, and put mayonnaise in my hair.
275. Went to a mission reunion
276. Went on lots of dates
277. Read the news a lot
278. Appeared in the news some
279. Appeared on national TV some
280. Developed a passion for cupcakes
281. Ordered sweatshirts for 14 people
282. Shamelessly flirted the heck out of strangers at institute parties and then ran away
283. Discovered a love for simplicity in all things
284. Graduated Seminary
285. Wrote a letter to an Apostle
286. Used 1.5 bottles of Retin-A
287. Used an entire bottle of multi vitamins and fish oil pills
288. Eaten a bottle of peanut butter without eating a single peanut butter sandwich
289. Eaten 4 boxes of oreos by myself
290. Creeped out the dates of my roommates lots of times
291. Lost my favorite stick of chapstick. Dr. Pepper. RIP
292. Went shopping with my cousin lots
293. Watched Murphy's law in action on a piece of toast. MY piece of toast.
294. Saw the real, the actual, Touch Down Jesus
295. Learned some martial arts
296. Mastered the ability to do the splits, and then lost it
297. Successfully switched between talking in the present tense and talking in the past tense all in the course of a single blog post
298. Achieved a very straight marching leg, despite having gone ~2 years without marching
299. Relinquished my mace to a very able drum major
300. Owned my very own can of mace
301. Learned how to kill someone with their own knife
302. Tried it out. With a rubber knife.
303. Discovered the best place to buy jewelry
304. Discovered the value in HOME.
305. Played my flute in Stake Conference
306. Learned how to play the most beautiful song on flute
307. Transcribed a song and assisted in getting it copyrighted 
308. Used a tape recorder
309. Hacked multiple people's facebook accounts
310. Made bread-based foods without yeast
311. Came to understand the value of music in my life
312. Worked as a host for a winter line competition 
313. Avidly followed America's Next Top Model
314. Found the most beautiful flute song ever (Chaminade's Concertino for Flute and Piano)
315. Become pretty good friends with a professor
316. Become pretty petrified of another professors
317. Learned how to dance like an Indian (Maybe?)
318. Came to to terms with the fact that the only Christmas tree I'll have this year is 6'' tall and is made out of porcelain or something
319. Gave a talk in Young Womens 
320. Became really good friends with my YW teachers from the ward to stake level
321. Participated in a brutal school rivalry
322. Got stuck in a mosh pit
323. Realized that a mosh pit is different than a mish pot. 
324. Wondered what a mish pot was
325. Grew super attractive calves 
326. Realized that pink nail polish is the best
327. Broke up with people I wasn't even dating
328. Found out who Calvin and Jake really were
329. Rode on a zip line
330. Rode on a mechanical bull
331. Won $50 at a graduation party
332. Had a odd caricature drawn.
333. Saw John Bytheway perform live
334. Rode Wicked at lagoon
335. Played a secret piano in the lunch room
336. Watched fireworks on the roof
337. Broke into the construction zone at OHS and scaled the side of the building to the top where we climbed through to the inside. 
338. Saw a drug raid in which dogs messied up the entire hallway
339. Heard Rhapsody in Blue performed live and beautiful
340. Ate at the cafe in Napolean Dynamite
341. Was present in an earthquake (Though I didn't feel it)
342. Owned a pair of nerd glasses
343. Learned to tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue 
344. Was someone's first date
345. Posed as a poll dancer on the frontrunner
346. Ate coconut oil
347. Had my license for long enough to drive without an adult present
348. Rode my scooter to school wearing super high heels
349. Was mistaken for being Mexican by some ward members due to the severity of my tan this summer
350. Ate nothing but gummy bears in 24 hours. And was sick
351. Ate 26 cotton candies in one night. And was really happy
352. Realized my toothpaste was causing problems
353. Went an entire week without my retainer. And was sad
354. Lost multiple bra sizes and was perfectly fine with that
355. Had spontaneous sleepovers 
356. Made it through graduation without crying
357. Left high school with 2 text books I forgot to return, one of which was from Junior year
358. Participated in an amazing Testimony meeting in the Tower room, prior to seminary graduation
359. Watched a storm roll across a beautiful green valley as I fell asleep, and woke up to ran on my window
360. Participated in a reenactment of Nephi's vision.
361. Was the musical number at seminary graduation
362. Got straight A's my first college semester (this one is kinda my second semester)
363. Had a passionate love affair with colored pens
364. Helped my brother run for student government
365. Learned by experience that the following quote is very true. "When we put God first, all other things fall in place or drop out completely"

There you go fellas. Things that I have done in the last year. I dunno about you... but it sure feels like I lived. And I was able to do it while having the awesome opportunity of writing a faithful and determined missionary. I don't think I have any 'waiter-haters' following my blog but... to everyone out there. Sure. "Waiting" for a missionary is hard. If you sit still for two years, that's gonna not rock. Hey, even if you're moving about and living every ounce out of every moment, you'll still have moments where you miss him. But if someone tried to tell me I was wasting my time by waiting for a missionary, why... I don't know! I would have to tell them that they were lying. Because this last year has been great. And it always would have been great missionary or no, because I'm just determined like that I guess. I consciously made the choice to make my year really great, and you know, I think I'll do the same thing next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. Because it makes life itself really great.

Put that in your hot cocoa as you will.

Origination

I hasn't blogged in lyke 4-ev-er. Fer realz yo.

No ok, I actually just posted something. But I've been busy and stuff, so blogs haven't been rolling around like normal. They're only halfheartedly rolling around.

But I do have some interesting stories!

First story. I was looking at my stats for this blog, because that's what I do, I look at my stats, because I like stats.... but I really enjoy looking at my referring sites. They're very interesting to me. And I find out who talks about me on their blog, and who visits whose blog and stuff like that. It's enjoyable. But today when looking at the stats for referring sites, I found something strange. It was a website for something, I don't know what it was, but while the website 'loaded' it said "You may enjoy looking at these sites while your blog loads". And my blog was listed there! Along with an archeology blog and a blog about ancient Greeks and things like that. A Lewis and Clark blog among those looked pretty normal. But for those of you the frequent my blog... it has nothing to do with Lewis and Clark.

Also my blog address has been confused with the style of Lewis and Clark, as in what they wear. I decided just to clear up right here why it is called Lewis and Clark style.

Lewis and Clark went to a new world and discovered lots of things, and took note of what they learned. So in a similar style, as I go about this new adventure of my life, I'm blogging what I learn. And adventures like that. It may not be exactly "New", I mean the age of 18 has been around for some time... but to me it's new. And I hope to keep this blog around for a really long time. Because as far as I know, every day is new to me. I've never experienced it before. And you never know what you might learn when thrown into the unknown like that.

Another thing. It's a story.

I like mail, and you'll learn why I like mail at 9am on December 9th (Stay tuned!). But yeah I like mail. I'm not obsessive over it though. But yesterday I was feeling restless and so when I saw the mail truck down the street, I decided to do some stalking.

The mail lady came walking down the street. I've seen her before when I come home from school, what she does is she walks down one side of the road, and then crosses about half way through and hits my neighbor to the north, and then hits my house. So I watched her. And I stared at the mail in her arms, wondering if there was anything there for me. The pile shrunk, of course, as she moved along, and by the time she got to my neighbor's house I had pretty much lost all hope that any mail would come to me that day. She crossed my neighbors yard, walking towards my house, and sorted through the mail on the way. And she pulled out a dinky little post card. I was a little upset, because I really wanted mail that day. But there was nothing. I decided it would still be an adventure to stare through the mail slot and watch mail come in, I've never done that before!

I crouched down and stared.

I heard the clink of the mail slot.

But nothing fell in!

I jumped up in a state of confusion and stared through the peep hole, what happened to the dinky post card?! She stood on my doorstep looking through the remaining mail in her arms, and pulled out a letter for me! Oh happy day! But rather than reaching towards the mail slot....

She.

Rang.

The.

Doorbell.

"I heard you making noises through the mail slot, and I figured why not hand you the mail in person?"

Hahaha!

I really missed my old mailman, Vern. He was the best. And everyone who receives mail from Vern can attest to that. So moving away was rather traumatic for me! I loved Vern! It took some time to warm up to the new mail lady, especially since she comes very very very late in the day...

But I think after yesterday, I don't know. I think we're best friends now.

And if she doesn't know that, too bad.

Give your mailman a hug as you will.

Burning up for you baby

Quick! Lara! While you're feeling weird write something! I think I have a fever. I don't know. I'm sick and I was just writing and some of the weirdest stuff was coming out of my fingers. I think they were magic sparks but I don't know. Oh, also, the words I was typing were pretty strange. It's moments like these when the best things come to my brain.

Have you ever noticed how brain looks like bran? Because I have. Not only the word, but the actual objects. Then again I'm not exactly sure what bran looks like. I know bran muffins. Those don't look like brain. Neither do bran cereals. But bran cereals are NASTY. That's right! I said it! Gross! I ate raisin bran all the time when I was growing up, and I only liked it for the raisins. But there comes a point in every child's life when they realize raisins are strange. And you become a teenager and hate them. I wish I still liked raisins. Because I loved getting those little boxes and eating raisins out of them. You can't do that with anything else! Try shoving some uh... bits of salad in there! It won't last. It never will. Then you grow older and raisins are ok again.

I wish that I had a mechanism in my mouth that brushed my teeth all the time. Like a mini tooth fairy that didn't steal my teeth, she cleaned them! Because the feeling of a clean mouth rocks my socks off. The feeling of an unclean mouth does the same thing too, since I can't stand to wear socks when my teeth aren't brush. I can't stand to wear much of everything. That's why I usually eat right before I take a shower. Then I brush my teeth. Then I get ready for the day. Then I mouthwash. Then I put my stuff in my book bag. Then I floss and then mouthwash again. Then take a sip of water to make my teeth not blue (I have blue mouthwash) Then I go to school.

Apparently my ritual of dental hygene was crucial. Heaven knows why. But I just spent a paragraph talking about it.

When you're young and free, going to the store is awesome. But then you grow up and realize that you HAVE to go to the grocery store if you want to LIVE! Well I'm tired of the store. Things in life lose their savor when you're dependent on them for life. Like respiration. And brushing your teeth. And going to the grocery store. I have faith that in the next life these won't be necessary. Actually I don't know. But one can hope. We'll see about respiration though. We'll just see. We'll all see.

There is a pitcher of water sitting on my table. Sometimes we have guests over for dinner. And we whip out the pitcher for them. But we never drink a full pitcher. So there is always some water left in there! What are you supposed to do with it? I don't know! In some places having a pitcher of clean water is an amazing thing. A miracle. A blessing. But here it's common. However, for some reason no one in our house can bring ourselves to throwing that pitcher of water down the sink. Well, the water, not the pitcher. But we can't bring ourselves to drink it! That's gross! Drinking water that's been on the table for a few seconds/hours/days/weeks/months/years. Nasty! So it just sits there. Festering disease and breeding havoc.

Havoc. That's the word of the day. Spelled backwards, you might think it says canoe. But it doesn't. It says covah. Close enough.

This has been your public service announcement of why your teacher should cancel class if she's sick. So that she doesn't cough and breathe all over everyone and get us all sick. Who cares about congress? We care about being healthy and sane!

As you will.

Death be the name

Murder be the game.

When you're a small child, overhearing your parent's supposedly private conversation about children they've killed can be alarming.

Well, let me rephrase that. My father wasn't in on the conversation. It was just my mom. Talking to my grandmother, aunt, and cousin. And those wicked family members were talking about horrendous things!

The conversation was rather boring at first, so I wasn't paying attention, but seriously, for little children the second you hear "You killed him?!" you're probably going to start listening.

My cousin was being accused of murder! That's ridiculous! My cousin is such an awesome people! And awesome people don't murder. Trust me. That's the slogan for my elementary school program to raise awareness of... not murdering....

And to hear all of the sudden that my cousin wasn't awesome. In fact she was a cold hearted killer, as shown by the next bit in the conversation.

"Well yeah, he was ANNOYING me!"

That was pretty much it for me. On the drive home from my aunt's house, I stared out the window the entire time wondering what was happening to my family, and wondering if my cousin would go to jail.

I listened to my family chastise her for killing someone, especially a child. She emphasized once again that he was annoying and that he wouldn't play quietly. If that doesn't get a child present in the room listening to an adult conversation to 'play quite' I don't know what does.

And then there was some talk about maids being fired, apparently my cousin had a maid too, I didn't know this. Obviously there was a lot I didn't know about my cousin. Also some talk about pleading with the grim reaper to stop him from taking the little boy, but hey, come on. When a little boy isn't playing quietly, you should probably let him die, right?

At this point, you may start realizing that something is off. And that 'off' something is the fact that while all of this actually happened, it happened in a different way, that being Sims. They were talking about a game. But no one explained this to me. And I spent a great deal of my childhood horrified, that not only would my cousin do such a thing, but that no one else in my family cared enough to call the cops on her.

Hmmm... for my 17th Birthday I had magical fun! I had a murder mystery party, themed on the Miss America pageant. I was Amanda America! The pageant winner from the previous year. And I was dating Joe. Judge Joe. Scandal! But the scandal ran deeper. Joe had his eyes on the favored to win girl of the Miss America crown, Tina Texas! Dun dun duhhhh! And I had sensed that something was up. Well, during our Miss America party, Tina is found dead. Actually at my party she wasn't found dead, she died a dramatic death in front of us all. It was tragic. :Cough cough:.

 There is the wonderful crowd. Full of hilarious characters such as Private (Investigator) Pete, Judge Joe, Judge Jake, Judge Julie, Daddy Big-Bucks, Anna Alabama, and other such people. It was by far the best birthday party I've ever had.

It's a very intense affair, full of bribery, lying, and mischief. My brother decided to make up fake information to give people, and they'd pay him to hear the press-stopping information he had. It was kinda hilarious. We had clues too! And Joe apologized to me about 2 minutes after Tina died saying he never loved her, I was the one for him. (Mmmm hmmm you better think that Joe). And during the voting, when people picked who they thought the murderer was, Joe voted for me. Most everyone voted for me. I'm not gonna tell you who it was though! I've got the craving to have another murder mystery party. I suppose I can't reuse that one though, since a lot of my buddy buds know how it goes already. But some day. And you are invited!

Do you have any interesting stories? I would say interesting stories like this but let's be honest, this isn't that interesting. Share them with me! In the comments below! As you will.

Dare 2: The Very Sound of You...

 

Don't forget to send in more dares fellas! I'm getting SUPER bored!

My Best Work

I always feel that I do my best work when my brain isn't functioning. Maybe that's why I'm so awesome. I don't know what. What? What. There is a bag full-s worth of Mamba wrappers surrounding my computer. Because I pulled off a 24 hour fast today! YEAH! 24 hours! It's awesome. That's the longest fast I've ever done on purpose. Fasting on accident... that's different.

There's also 2 empty water bottles by my computer. But I don't think I drank them.

I'm wearing a fedora. I went to the Pie tonight. And everyone liked my fedora. It made me feel good about the fedora because the poor hat ends up on the floor a lot, and is always stepped on. Or has shoes thrown on it. Which is pretty much being stepped on. Does a shoe need a foot in it to step on something? I think not. I think shoes can do whatever they want. And they did exactly that by having a 40% 's' ratio and far too many vowels.

My tummy is so mad at me. Gamma broke the fast tonight with a banquet. When I go without eating for a long time my tummy shrinks. And then when I actually do eat it makes me sick. But candy makes it better. Candy makes the world better.

It's pretty much midnight. Ugh. I'm such a bad student. I don't want to go to school tomorrow.

I had this camera. It rocked. I had a new band uniform. It rocked. Well the band uniform and the camera had a pretty close relationship, and I think I know where you think this is going. But no. They didn't become friends or 'more than friends' like expected. No. My uniform ate my camera. My camera's in my uniform pocket. In the band room. In the stadium. All locked up. Ain't no way I'm seein that baby till the next game. Unless I ask nicely. And honestly, I'm not that nice.

I feel sassy. Probably because I ate. And went to the Pie. But I didn't do both at the same time. What is this buisness.

My hemp bracelet is starting to come off. And I made it worse today. This bracelet has been with me for a long time! Like 4 months! My sweater was coming under the bracelet, and I forgot, and when I took my sweater off it pulled on the poor bracelet and snapped a few threads. It reminds me of something.

I have this gold necklace that Josh gave me before he left on his mission. It was on our last date. Beautiful necklace. And our last date wasn't the last time I saw him, he came by before he was set apart to say goodbye one last time. So anyways. I was wearing this totally smokin turtle neck that day (I know what you're thinking, really Lara? Turtle neck??? This was a smokin turtle neck. If you saw it you'd think so too.) And I was wearing the necklace too. Then he left, bye bye, all that, and it was good. But that night I forgot I was wearing the necklace, and when I took the turtle neck off it stretched out the gold links on the poor necklace. It's still wearable. Just longer. And I don't like it longer. So I have to hook it this certain way to make it not so long. Which takes forever. But it's such a pretty necklace, I'm ok with forever.

It's so hot in here. I think it's this fedora. I'm gonna stomp on it.

I think if I posted more pictures people would read my blog more. No one reads my blog now. Seriously. I bet you all whatever is in my pocket that no more than 2 people read this post. Prove me wrong now. Comment in it. I know you can. And you might say "Lara, you're wearing a skirt, whatever is in your pocket isn't that much. So you're a fool." Oh yeah? OH YEAH? I'm the fool? NO YOU ARE! This is 2010 folk!!! Women have the right to vote! And we have the right to have pockets in our skirts! That's right. I just kicked you down.

That's all. I"m going to sleep. I'll probably skip out on institute tomorrow too. I'm a bad person. (I'll do homework and plan my Sunday School lesson. Good trade.)

You're crazy. Feel insecure as you will.

The First Dare

Remember how I told you guys to send me dares? Well you didn't. So today my mom and brother called me when I was studying (thanks again) and gave me a dare. The video is sorta silly since it was just on my baby computer, but yep.

You can see my flesh wound in it. In band we wear decals on our face during game day. And to take it off, you put tape over it then tear it off. Well this time the tape and my skin got really friendly with each other and weren't quite ready to say goodbye. so.... my skin ran off with the tape. Thus... flesh wound.

What is the dare?

Mom: "I dare you to eat a piece of lettuce off the road OH WAIT SOMEONE DID THAT ALREADY."
Brian: "Shut up. I dare you to eat it off the parking lot, it's more daring."
Lara: "Ew no I'm not doing that. I already don't like food that much as it is."
Brian: "See you're gonna come home and be all anorexic."
Lara: "No I'm not... I like to cook."
Brian: "You said that really distantly."
Lara: "That's because you're on speaker and the phone is far away from me."
Mom: "I dare you to jay-walk."
Lara: "Jay walk?! Ok!" (Laughing)
Brian: "I dare you to jay-walk while eating ice cream!"
Lara: "Ok. Ok I'm going to do it."

At the end of the video you can hear my mother protesting that I can't jay-walk Doulgas street, it's not cool enough. Maybe we'll up it and go to 5th South some time ye?

The Triple Dog Dare

My life isn't boring.

Huh that statement looks pretty good, we'll leave the post at that for today! Just kidding. Alright, so my life isn't boring. But that doesn't mean that I don't get bored. Because I do. A lot. (This comes with being enrolled in college...) It's not like I'm not having fun, it's just that things have been getting monotonous. Want to hear how my morning went?

7:30am - Oh joy! I love Sundays! I get to sleep in as late as I want!
(Look at clock)
Curses. Why do I always wake up early on Sunday?
(Realization that it's not Sunday)
AHHH!!! I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL AH!!!! WHY DIDN'T MY ALARM GO OFF?!
(Realization that I don't go to school till 11 on Wednesdays.)
Oh. Curses. Why do I always wake up early on Wednesdays? Guess I'll go back to sleep.
7:31 - This is boring. Why can't I fall asleep?
8:30 - (Alarm goes off)
Wh-wha?! Woah huh I'm awake!

The rest of the morning goes as follows
Get on the computer
Look at the clock and decide to take a shower
Decide to take a fast shower so I can be on time to school
Get out of the shower, realize I took a fast shower, hence realizing I can take aaasss looonnng aaassss Iiiiiii wwaaannnnttttt doing my hair, completely forgetting about being on time.
Do my hair, do my makeup, look at the clock and freak out thinking I'll be late to school.
Eat breakfast really fast and realize I still have time so I can take aaasss loooonnnng aaasss Iiiiiii wwaannnnttttt getting dressed.
Get dressed.
Look at the clock and freak out realizing I'm actually going to be late to school.
Go out the door.
Go back in having forgotten something.
Go out the door.
Go back in having forgotten something.
Go out the door.
Get half way down the street.
Turn back and go back in having forgotten something.
Go out the door.
Get half way down the street.
Go back having forgotten to LOCK the door.
Get to school on time, but really tuckered from racing to get there on time.

It's not boring per say, but it's getting monotonous. I don't want to tell you the rest of the day. It'll be monotonous.

So this is where YOU can help me!

I have an email address (Woah!) And here's what you can do. Email me!

Not just any email, though I wouldn't mind that. I like hearing from my minions fikklers (My fingers were out of place trying to type:) followers fellow explorers.

But if you send me a special email, why, that's dandy! Here is what those special emails should contain:

A Triple.

Dog.

Dare.

I'm not talking just one dog, or a set of puppies, I'm talking about the big kahuna triple dog. Dare me with that.

And each week I will do a dare, and then blog about the dare. Maybe even make a video of me doing the dare. Whatever will be most awesome!

So email me your dares...

 If you dare.

As you will.

The Hostage Situtation

You all know pick up lines... ever heard of break up lines?

"Is there someone following you? Because I'm seeing other people behind your back."

Ogden was ok! Sure I lived by a bunch of crazy people, but I didn't have too many problems. Sure there was the occasional or not so 'casional cat call while I walked to school, and some weird people might follow me around shouting at me trying to 'get to know me'. But nothing like it's been here.

I was going for a walk with Nan, and she glanced around and said "You get a lot of looks, how do you feel about it." I shrugged and said I was used to it. But I didn't know how bad it was.

You heard about that guy at Smiths... he's part of it. I don't see him too much anymore though. Yesterday I was ambushed outside of my Calc class where EVERYONE was talking to me, not each other, me. All about different things. I went crazy.

Today I realized how bad it really was though.

Someone followed me to school.

They're waiting outside for me.

I'm scared.

I couldn't help but talk to them when I first saw him, I mean, he was really cute! He walked out of this empty house and came right up to me. It was just a casual encounter with someone. But as I headed on my way, I looked behind me and he was following me! I figured maybe he was just going somewhere, but he kept cat calling me and then I get to my building, go inside, turn around, and he's there staring after me. It's really creepy. I haven't checked outside again... but...

If you happen to be walking by the biology building and you see a beautiful ginger kitten, call the cops. It's following me. But please don't hurt it... it's just a baby kitten. But I can't be followed like this, unacceptable.

I'm being held hostage... negotiate as you will.

That thing who lives in our house

I'm a pretty smart girl, not gonna lie. You've sorta got to have some sort of knowledge power if you're a math major, right? (By the way, am I the only one who gets the words major and magic confused?) Anyways. I went through high school so well. It was a breeze! I didn't have homework ever. I did everything I needed to in school, leaving a lot of time at home to do whatever. This presents what people call 'culture shock' being thrown into the rigid community that Universities are. Here I am, surrounded by people who are actually smarter than me. I have to work, and work HARD to be considered worth a person's time! What the hey?! That's not how I generally roll! (Also I get general confused with magic. I just get 'j' and 'g' confused. Read that first sentence of this blog again. Then come back here and read the rest of the blog, holding that sentence dear to your heart.) I study seriously every day. I come home, eat and breathe for 30 minutes, then jump right into studying. Look, it actually says dying. That's actually what I'm doing. I was going insane. I mean HOW MANY THINGS DOES A PERSON HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT THE FETCHING PATRIOT ACT BEFORE THEY FORM AN OPINION ON IT?! I guarantee I do NOT have to read that 39 page 'pamphlet' on it (another thing here... doesn't pamphlet make you think of something brief? Just to give you an idea of it? I'm going to kill something...) I do NOT have to watch a 90 minute podcast on it where the sound and the footage are off, I do NOT have to read a 4 part newspaper article on it! I'm pretty sure I would be just fine doing one of the above since they all SAY THE SAME THING! AGH! And Biology. Hoooo biology. I'm going rip your eye out. How would you like being bology? Sounds like a disgusting sandwich meat! I HATE YOU. STOP giving me TESTS. Professor! STOP finding ways to use stupid things like TEMPERATURE to challenge student's beliefs in God! You're STUPID Biology! I HATE YOU. Wooo. Ok. With that rant out of the way... I'll go onto what this blog is all about. As you can probably tell... at around 6pm, something snapped and I was sick of homework. And I remembered that Psych was online. So you know what I did?! I ate some salad. And I talked to Chauntel who has a soothing effect on a crazy mind. But after that was done, the crazy pants were on. I sat in my living room on the couch, pulled the oreos out of the cupboard (don't worry piccolos, I bought more for you. I needed a creative outlet, and sugar was it...) and I sat down with a glass of water and an entire case of oreos and watched Psych. I was laughing my head off. Then. Hoooo... THEN. Megavideo had the NERVE to tell me that I'd watched 73 minutes of video today! What?! I have NOT! Megavideo, you're on my hit list too. I'm going to violate your first amendment rights and invade your personal records just because I don't like you. So here I am, crying at Megavideo. And laughing at it too. Then I thought I heard the doorbell ring... but I didn't pay close enough attention. Marilyn walks on out, gives me a weird look, and opens the door. In walks a nice young man. To pick up Nan for a date! He comes in, sits across from me on the couch, and I look at him and smile with my teeth and mouth full of oreos and say "Heyyyy...." He nods back. Then I roll onto the floor and walk out of the room. After a few minutes, Nan was ready to go and they left. So I walk back out, and me and Marilyn chuckle a little over the oddness of our house (actually I just realized we were both chuckling at me.) Then the doorbell rings again! I sit up a little more straight, and close the oreos. In walks Marilyn's date! They talk a little about water bottles and cups, then he turns around and says hi to me! Marilyn introduced us, and he said "Oh yeah, I met you at that party a few weekends ago..." And Marilyn and I both remember it and do that thing girls do, you know... "Ohhh!" With our bottom jaw sticking out and our heads tilting back or whatever... (do normal people do that?) And he said... "Yeah you fit in very well..." I guess I did there, at the party. A bunch of guys tripping to get me drinks, all of them talking to me, giggling and being demure, letting them eat out of my hand (Ew gross stop it... Only birds and some dogs can eat out of my hand...) But here I was with oreo crumbs all over my shirt, slouching on the couch with my feet on the table. Yep. Here I am world. I fit in very well. Change the puzzle as you will.

To Whom It May Concern;

Today's blog post is brought to you by the city folk! And the letter 10! Shoes, that's humiliating. I actually didn't mean to write 'letter 10'. Well that explains a lot of my state of mind today. To my bamboo plant; Come on now. You're 2 inches tall. Stop drinking so much water or I'll slit your throat. I know where you sleep. To the man dancing at the train station; Everyone can see you, and obviously you're the only one with headphones. Stop it. People are staring. You're embarrassing me. To the word embarrassing; Stop being so hard to spell. Tell that to your other little friends like definitely and... yeah. To the nice young gentleman walking around with his pants hanging low wearing whitey-tighties that weren't so white any more with his ball cap on backwards and a pen behind his ear eating a banana; You have a long name. And yes. You do look ridiculous. Mission accomplished. To the woman driving well over the speed limit with her window down who sneezed incredibly loudly at me; Gross. And bless you. And gross. Mostly just gross. And a little confusion in there... To the stalker man I run into at Smiths every week; ... To the general population; Stop looking so astonished when you hear I'm a Mathematics major. It's insulting. I got the straight across bangs cut to maybe give off a smart vibe. Pay attention to that. To my Mathematics Professor; Thanks for providing me with a mild sense of entertainment. You should be on a children's television show. To the word 'children's'; I thought you were a word, you clearly let yourself go. To my MG friends; Have super fun tonight, wish I was there! Ya'll rock. To my sunglasses; Stop breaking. I mean it. (Anybody want a peanut?) To the rest of the general public; Yes, I say 'Ya'll' and 'You betcha'. Doesn't mean I'm a hick. You're a hick. I'm finished writing for now, read through my private personal letters to random people and objects as you will. Expect to hear a knock on your door from a not-so-friendly policeman soon as you will.

Discoveries and Adventures: The First Video

Sometimes you are looking through your computer history and you find this. I make for an awkward conversation a dinner tables. Make me eat the scraps under the table as you will.

Discoveries and Adventures Part 2: The Cerial

Today I was studying while eating Coco Rice Crispies out of a jar that at one point had ranch dressing in it. For some reason as I held that jar in my hand... (and I have no idea what reason... it still doesn't make sense to me...) I decided to check what time it was. With the open jar in my hand. And I wasn't even wearing a watch, and haven't worn a watch in several years. So I don't know what was going through my mind but anyways. Gravity happened, and I spilled rice crispies all over my floor. Then I used my brand new broom for the first time and swept them up. I think some got into my blow drier though... oh well! My hair will just smell like chocolate! Dear fake watch... you were never my friend. You were never my-- You were never my lover (lover... lover... lover...) I broke up with my fake watch. Comfort me as you will.

Discoveries and Adventures: Part 1

There is a switch in my house. I flipped it, and nothing happened... however... It is now about an hour after I flipped that switch, and I'm sitting here studying causation. Causation is when one thing occurs that makes another thing happen. Well, I flipped that switch an hour ago, and now I'm sitting here studying with my window open and I hear the sound of a skateboard's wheels against the street outside and suddenly the sound of wheels is replaced by the sound of screaming. I have reason to believe that when I flip that switch, a dinosaur appears outside. I'm good at school. I'm brilliant, applaud me as you will.

Close Encounters With The Third Kind

Also known as "You get what's coming to you." Never have words rung so true. You complain about the heat, you get snow, you ask for just a little more dressing on your salad, you get a little bit of lettuce to go with your dressing. You complain about not having anything to blog about, and you get something to blog about. Today found Lara being asked to make a salad for dinner with the home teachers tomorrow! I accepted, sounded fun, but this did mean I had to go to Smiths again. No big deal. On my way down to the grocery store, I contemplated this blog, and how it was sort of boring. What do people blog about? You can't live off of my random lists forever! I needed some sort of story to tell. Now, I warn you. This is not a story. This is all real. By real I mean really freaky. I'm in the express lane, right? That should mean no more than 5 minutes per customer or something! That was not the deal tonight at Smiths. The lady in front of me was paying in some weird method so it took forever. Ok. Twenty minutes. But twenty minutes spent the way I spent them is like unto forever. This guy comes up behind me. Yeah. He's checking out behind me. Let me paint the scene. Crazy blood shot eyes, yellow teeth with several missing, scraggly beard and hair. And he says "You look like you could be a teenager!" Um thanks. I smile and nod (I'm bad at saying "BACK OF SIR!") and he continues to say "You know how old I am? I just turned 43." He's speaking really slow and crazy like. Makes sense, crazy eyes, crazy like. "You know where I'm headed? Washington! There are lots of black people in Washington. Not many Mexicans, but there are lots of black people. But you know what there are lots of? It's a word that I'm not going to say but... There are lots of homosexuals there. My best friend's dad was homosexual. My best friend was too, but his dad was more homosexual than he was. And his dad was married to a beast. Neah neah neah (mimicking the voice she made apparently...)" During this I'm just bobbing around wondering why the lady in front of me is taking forever and why anyone would need so many boxes of multi-grain Cheerios. "What's your last name?" I figured you can't get any more generic than Smith so I just told him Smith. And his jaw drops and he says "Your... your grandmother worked at the warehouse! (What?!) That's why I can't stop starring at you, you look so much like her! Her hair is graying though." "My last name is Clark. My Grandmother's last name is Horax. I'd rather be Horax than Clark. You know what? The Horax family and the Smith family and the Evans family all worked for the same man, Joseph Smith." (Hmm... I'm related to him... I didn't know my Grandma worked for him.) He mumbles something about his Uncle while I look over into the other check out line and this man is starring at me horrified, clearly feeling the same awkward vibe I was feeling. "You know, my cousin, genealogy, he, you could be an aunt, if your cousin has kids, that makes you an aunt, and your brother an uncle." (Woah! I didn't know that one actually.) "You have CUTE shoes. Where did you get them? The DI?" "American Eagle" I replied. His eyes go crazy and he says "The... The Indian store?" BAHAHAHAH! This is when I realized it had to be a blog post. Some lady walks up behind him and he turns around and stares at her for a while, then at a dog in the store. Wait... a dog in the store? I don't know. It was weird. And he mumbles to himself "Hey you want to make some money? You can keep 60%, I'll take 50% (Where'd that extra 10 come from?) No. I don't like that. I'll take 40%, you take 10%." He turns around and says "Well Lisa, you are a very beautiful 23 year old." What the heck. By now I had checked out, I smiled, waved, and ran. And he shouted out after me "I LOVE YOU!" This whole time I had my mace can aimed and ready, don't worry. However, I didn't feel much of a threat. I did feel a lot of pain though, turns out it hurts when you're trying so bad not to laugh. I called my parents on the way home to tell the story because I was giggling, and probably appeared more mad than he sounded. My daddy says that I have a (what did he call it again?) glow about me that makes people think they should talk to me and think (and I quote,) "Who is that angel? I must touch base with her." Daddy says I need to wear dark glasses and do something to deaden that sense about me. Disguise myself when I go out in public. And if someone bugs me, smile nicely and say "I don't mean to be rude, but leave." I'm adorable, flirt with me as you will. Actually don't. I'll get a restraining order.

Flutter Tonguing

I play the flute. And here we go with the bragging, I'm pretty decent at it. I've played for 7-8 years, and it's been a great go. Flutter tonguing is a method where you make that helicopter sound with your mouth "httktktktktkktktktktktktkktkkttttt" and play at the same time. The resulting sound rocks. Here is the story of The Flute Who Hit My Face. Sophomore year in marching band I had a flute. It was a "BandNow" brand, and if I knew more about instruments, I would never have bought it. But it was $50 dollars! That's a hard to beat price! Besides, it was just for marching/pep season. I wouldn't use it in competitions (That's for my beautiful silver $1000 flute.) Mmmkay so I didn't take this flute seriously, and in all honesty, that's the only way to take it. The flute was a joke. I liked to imitate the color guard, so I figured out how to do the spins and tosses with that instrument. It's pretty easy with a flute! It's already a pole. So on a super awesome toss, something went awry. It was a double spin high toss, and it's up their twirling away. Oh. In the rain. It was raining. And when I reached out to catch it, my hand formed a fist and I punched it and it flew a few feet ahead of me and broke. The end of that flute. (Its name was Horrace the Horrible.) It had a good run, I'd let people drop it to feel what it was like to drop an instrument, we'd throw it all over, but it never broke. Until then. Poor thing. This was in the fall, and that spring we took it in to be fixed. They told us just to buy a new one, the thing would be more expensive to fix than to just buy a new one. That summer, (Oh that summer...) I gave the flute to the brass section. Que face smack. I knew what their intentions were, but I never knew that the flute would have a vendetta against me. We dropped the flute on the ground a few times to warm ourselves up, then upped it to throwing it out the window of the band room. We were 3 stories up, might I add. It was epic to watch it hit the ground! We ran out, picked it up, chucked it a few more times, ran it over with a car, then decided it was time for some base ball. Ouch I'm wincing thinking about it now. Being band kids, of course we don't play baseball with a bat and ball. No, we play baseball with a flute and light pole. So the trumpet section batters up, taking turns whamming it against the light pole. Then they move down the line to the low brass. The flute was bent, mashed, missing all sorts of keys, it was awesome. Tuba player steps up to home plate, and that's when the flute decided that since I broke it's heart (and entire being,) it was going to break my face. Now watch in slow motion. Tuba player swinging it to the light pole, a huge clang as metal strikes metal, and the flute breaks in half and comes soaring for my face. The reason you're watching in slow motion is because that's how my mind processed it. I stood there and took what was coming to me. It hit my mouth, and chipped the corner of my two front teeth. It didn't hurt, but my mouth was bleeding and my teeth felt silly. Karma beat me up that day, since I was going to my cabin for a week that same day, and my dentist was out of town. I spent a week looking like a hick and whistling when I talked. I'm a freak, judge me as you will.