8.12.2010

Flutter Tonguing

I play the flute. And here we go with the bragging, I'm pretty decent at it. I've played for 7-8 years, and it's been a great go. Flutter tonguing is a method where you make that helicopter sound with your mouth "httktktktktkktktktktktktkktkkttttt" and play at the same time. The resulting sound rocks. Here is the story of The Flute Who Hit My Face. Sophomore year in marching band I had a flute. It was a "BandNow" brand, and if I knew more about instruments, I would never have bought it. But it was $50 dollars! That's a hard to beat price! Besides, it was just for marching/pep season. I wouldn't use it in competitions (That's for my beautiful silver $1000 flute.) Mmmkay so I didn't take this flute seriously, and in all honesty, that's the only way to take it. The flute was a joke. I liked to imitate the color guard, so I figured out how to do the spins and tosses with that instrument. It's pretty easy with a flute! It's already a pole. So on a super awesome toss, something went awry. It was a double spin high toss, and it's up their twirling away. Oh. In the rain. It was raining. And when I reached out to catch it, my hand formed a fist and I punched it and it flew a few feet ahead of me and broke. The end of that flute. (Its name was Horrace the Horrible.) It had a good run, I'd let people drop it to feel what it was like to drop an instrument, we'd throw it all over, but it never broke. Until then. Poor thing. This was in the fall, and that spring we took it in to be fixed. They told us just to buy a new one, the thing would be more expensive to fix than to just buy a new one. That summer, (Oh that summer...) I gave the flute to the brass section. Que face smack. I knew what their intentions were, but I never knew that the flute would have a vendetta against me. We dropped the flute on the ground a few times to warm ourselves up, then upped it to throwing it out the window of the band room. We were 3 stories up, might I add. It was epic to watch it hit the ground! We ran out, picked it up, chucked it a few more times, ran it over with a car, then decided it was time for some base ball. Ouch I'm wincing thinking about it now. Being band kids, of course we don't play baseball with a bat and ball. No, we play baseball with a flute and light pole. So the trumpet section batters up, taking turns whamming it against the light pole. Then they move down the line to the low brass. The flute was bent, mashed, missing all sorts of keys, it was awesome. Tuba player steps up to home plate, and that's when the flute decided that since I broke it's heart (and entire being,) it was going to break my face. Now watch in slow motion. Tuba player swinging it to the light pole, a huge clang as metal strikes metal, and the flute breaks in half and comes soaring for my face. The reason you're watching in slow motion is because that's how my mind processed it. I stood there and took what was coming to me. It hit my mouth, and chipped the corner of my two front teeth. It didn't hurt, but my mouth was bleeding and my teeth felt silly. Karma beat me up that day, since I was going to my cabin for a week that same day, and my dentist was out of town. I spent a week looking like a hick and whistling when I talked. I'm a freak, judge me as you will.

4 comments:

Kellie said...

So, now the true story of how the flute met it's original end.

McCall said...

Woot! Flutter tonguing is so fun to me! We flutes rock :D Except for the fact of being able to destroy a flute confuses me! LOL!

Lara said...

McCall, you'd understand if it was that flute ;)

chip said...

Never EVER give a dangerous instrument to the brass. I play the trumpet and one day in band class there was a tuba case that was heavier than all the others for some reason, and no one could figure out why. No one could even lift it! Then at the end of class the tuba case popped open, and one of the trumpet kids came out. Covered in dust and fuzz.