4.05.2011

Guest Post: Brittany

Ladies and Gentlemen! (Because I dooooo have a few men reading this blog!) Today we have a special treat.

Brittany from Illumination Apparatus  is gonna be posting for me! Brittany is my BFF. But when we graduated high school, we made a bad choice and somehow we found ourselves attending colleges that were hours apart. It's not that we hate our schools or anything! But it kinda sucks having your best buddy living so far away.

So. Introducing now, the wonderful and marvelous Brittany Daniels!

{Note: We have actually done things in this post that she suggests. So.... yeah. Awesome.}



10 Crazy ways to do 5 Normal things

Do you ever get just a little bored with your life?  Wish that it was just a little more exciting, so you could stop spending so much time wishing that your life story was more similar to a Nicholas Sparks novel?  Well, look no further my homie-est of skillets, because I have the solution to your problems.

I have compiled a list of five mundane, normal things we do every day, and then with each thing, ten crazy ways to do it.

This list was tested by NASA, they said it worked. I’m totes serious about this. It’s legit.

Number One: Shopping at Wal-Mart

  1. Set all the alarm clocks to go off in ten-minute intervals throughout the day
  2. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 
  3. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 
  4. Set up a tent in the camping department tell others you will only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 
  5. Turn all the radios to polka stations then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast
  6. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
  7. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
  8. Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples) 
  9. In the auto department, practice your Madonna look with various funnels. 
  10.  As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"

Number Two: You’re Stranded At Home By Yourself
  1. Wash a tree
  2. Learn Greek 
  3. Get run over by a train of thought
  4. Wink
  5. Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
  6. Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
  7. Wear a salad 
  8. Run around in squares
  9. Abuse your patio furniture
  10. Cheer up a potato

Number Three: Going To The Movies
  1. Every 15 minutes stand up and then sit back down.
  2. Bring an attachable seat-belt. Strap it to your seat and then clip it on yourself. Turn to the person next to you and say, "you never know".
  3. Stand in the front corner facing the audience and do sign language translations.
  4. Half way through the movie run down to the screen, touch it, and then run back to your seat 
    yelling, “I touched the screen! I touched the screen!”
  5. Ask the person who sells you the ticket to give you his/her autograph
  6. Half way through the movie stand up and yell “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS!?” and then run off.
  7. hen something is really funny, don’t laugh, instead point at the screen and scream: “L-O-L L-O-L L-O-L!!!!”
  8. As people enter the theater, make nametags for them.
  9. Try to start a wave
  10. Stand in front of the screen motionless and face the audience the entire movie.

Number Four: Ordering A Pizza
  1. Imitate the order taker’s voice.
  2. Ask if the pizza has had its shots.
  3. Dance all around the word “pizza.” Avoid saying it at all costs. If he/she says it, say “Please don’t mention that word.”
  4. Have a movie with a good car chase scene playing loudly in the background. Yell “OW!” when a bullet is fired.
  5. Use these bonus words in the conversation: ROBUST; FREE-SPIRITED; COST-EFFICIENT; UKRAINIAN; PUCE.
  6. State your order and say that’s as far as this relationship is going to get
  7. Start the conversation by reciting today’s date and saying, “This may be my last entry.”
  8. Order two toppings, then say, “No, they’ll start fighting.”
  9. Learn to properly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza
  10. Shout “I’m through with men/women! Send me a dozen of your best, Gaston!”

Number Five: Walking to Class
  1. When you step on a crack, fall to your knees and moan “Mom! I’m so sorry!”
  2. Stop in every window and fix your hair
  3. Wink at every person wearing yellow
  4. Play hopscotch
  5. Walk with your head tilted to one side
  6. Pretend you’re having a heated discussion with someone on your phone…in French
  7. Run around with a nerf gun, randomly shoot people and scream “Vive Le Resistance!!”
  8. Get a fake engagement ring, go up to strangers and tell them all about your recent engagement
  9. Wear headphones, listen to music and hum along loudly
  10. Obtain some type of animal costume ( ie: Gorilla), walk casually around campus and act upset when people look at you funny.

I know it sounds crazy, but I promise you and also NASA promises you that if try these things, your life will no longer be boring. And the more extreme you’re willing to go, the more people will want to be around you…. Most of the time.

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE

I know life gets tough, and it’s really hard to be happy with yourself all the time, but if you don’t like your life the way it is- you’re the only one who can change it. Our lives are precious gifts, but we’ll never be able to truly appreciate how amazing they are if we don’t get out of our comfort zones and really LIVE. Try something new, go somewhere amazing, do something crazy! I promise you’ll never regret it.






5 comments:

Natasha Louise said...

I Love this, soo funnny!!

I thought of you the other day randomly in the post office when I saw the little red buses sitting on the self waiting to be sold! thought I would let you know that ;)

Kellie said...

Brittany, Brittany, Brittany. I can just see you doing all of this too! :)

Brittany said...

:) I do like to walk on the wild side!

ashley@divorced&21 said...

HAHA! love it

chip said...

I love the pizza ones!