12.08.2011

Miss.

Remember how I'm moving? 

Well I haven't blogged a lot lately because I'm moving.

And I've been packing a lot.

And I wasn't very keen on spending my last few days of this chapter on the internet. 

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about this choice, whether it's the right one or not.

(Can you tell this post is gonna be a bit deep already?)

There was so much I was looking forward to when I moved here. And then I moved here and realized how much I didn't like about Salt Lake. It's not a bad city, but it's not home. 

But it HAS been an adventure. 



And when I decided to move, I was so excited. Everything that I disliked, I wouldn't have to deal with anymore. But the closer it gets to moving day (Friday) the more I realize that things I though I wouldn't miss are the things I might miss the most.

I will miss pulling table cloths off of tables and making weird faces in the kitchen at work over the choice of decor at the wedding. I'll miss looking forward to staying late, because maybe it meant I'd get to take flowers home.

I'll miss using trax. Weird, right? I won't miss getting stuck in uncomfortable situations on trax or waiting for trax, but I will miss being completely dependent on a system over which I have no control. In a weird way I will miss the uncertainty of getting stuck at a trax late at night and wondering if I missed the last one already and if I'll be able to get home.

I'll miss riding my scooter down the middle of a large empty street at night and passing street lamps that turn on as I go under them surrounding me in dim light. I'll miss pretending like I'm a secret agent, and ducking into the shadows when a car comes by, because chances are they're looking for me to interrogate me.

I'll  miss playing organ in my ward, though I specifically told the bishopric I would take any calling except organist. I'll miss watching the congregation jump when I accidentally put all the stops down and it sounds like the Phantom of the Opera.

I'll miss hearing the crunch of gravel in the background knowing that it's my daddy pulling in to visit me.

I'll miss scootering to the grocery store and getting stuck at an intersection where there's no stop sign for me to cross. I'll miss scootering past Alta Moda Bridal and looking in the windows at the beautiful gowns they have displayed there.

I won't miss shutting myself in my room on a weekend night feeling very alone.

I'll miss a lot about Salt Lake, but all of the adventures I have here could never make up for the adventures I missed with my loved ones, and they will never replace the adventures I'll have with the people I'm fond of in the future.

Salt Lake has been good to me. Though I'd grumble under my breath when things weren't perfect. They never will be perfect. But it doesn't mean it wasn't an adventure. 

I'd sit and wonder if I made the right choice.

And the one thing that reminds me that I did is that there is more pulling me to Ogden than is keeping me here. And I look forward with excitement as I pull on my very best adventure boots.

I'm ready for the next adventure.

3 comments:

Michael said...

Things I am going to miss about SL..even though I live in SL - you.

megan danielle said...

i loved this post. i love your blog. just thought id tell you.

Natasha Louise said...

Sometimes it's just hard to let go, but follow your heart and you will be so much happier!! Plus the memories will always be there! :)