Clean Shaven

What kinda person do you have to be to shave your legs every day?

Even behind your knees? Or around your ankles where it's really tricky?

Obsessed. I think you have to be obsessed.

Well anyways. I am, because I do. 365 days a year. 366 days this year since it's leap year. Even in the winter, when you're wearing long pants. And it's not like I don't wear long pants in the summer. I do. Because I'm afraid of my legs. They're white. So white. I don't care if other people see them, just if I do. I don't want to lose my eyesight because of my blinding white legs. 

Um. 

Oh anyways.

It's also not like people are walking around feeling my legs. In the summer they don't, when I'm wearing shorts. And in the winter they don't, when I'm wearing skinny jeans. That's just not ethical or something to feel someone's legs.

But Becca thinks it is. She asks people to feel her legs all the time. 

But I can't stand it if my legs have a bit of scruff on them. I can feel it. Through the denim. Or when I'm asleep through my sweatpants. It's like forgetting to brush your teeth in the morning. No one is gonna balk at your stinky breath or throw up after kissing you.

But you've got the taste in your mouth.

And it's gross.

But you lose teeth if you don't brush.

And you don't lose your legs if you don't shave.

Just all of your adoring fans.