Complete Honesty

I'm going to be completely honest with you all. I really love blogging. I really love writing. Sometimes I just look out my window and think about how I'd describe it if I were writing. Joseph asked me yesterday if I'd write my memoirs some day. Probably not. I'm more of a descriptive writer, and there's not enough time in the day to write down every beautiful thing I see.

Because the snow sparkles.

And Joseph's eyelashes are so dark.

And the dead leaves on my plant wrapped themselves around each other.

So I love blogging, because it gets me to write more often.

But I'll be completely honest with you. Lately, I've become far too concerned with my count of followers, or the number of people viewing what post on what day. I've been worried about portraying my life is lovely for everyone, so people would look at me and be inspired. But guess what? I don't like doing that anymore. I fear it's getting to be superficial.

So maybe now I'm not going to blog every day. That doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. It doesn't mean I'm upset. But sometimes I am upset, because kids pull on my hair and ruin my clothes and that stresses me out. And tuition and books eat my paycheck and that stresses me out. And sometimes I'm so sick I can hardly get out of bed, but I have to. Because school is all day long. And I can't afford to miss class. And I drive myself crazy because of how much I complain about a silly little cold. Even if it HAS lasted 3 months.

So maybe when I do blog, it'll be a bit more honest. It won't always be "OMG! Look at this cute picture I made! I took some pretty photos! My fiance is SO STINKIN HOT I JUST WANT TO CRY! My job rocks LAWL <3!" Sometimes maybe I'll be a bit more honest about how my day was. Because when I sat down and thought about it, the reason I started this blog was so that my friends and family could stay caught up on my life while I was away for school. And now, I know there's 100 something of you I don't even know, but I do like that you read my blog. I really do. I just hope you don't hate me when I'm a bit more honest about how my life is. Because it isn't always perfect. And if you think your life is 100% constantly perfect, you're a bold faced liar and are ignoring problems that need to be addressed.

Sorry about that.

And maybe I'll stop following a lot of blogs too. Because I got tired of my feed being full of people I've never heard of with blogs I don't even read. Mainly I was mad because of a blog that was entirely about weird melons the grew only in Asia and that weirded me out. There's a lot of you, We And Serendipity, Kar + Wade, {Im}perfect.... um.... and all my buddies in IHARM and W4AM and my real life family and friends I really do read all your blogs and stalk the living daylights out of you. So don't worry. And if you read my blog and you would like me to read your blog, give me a holler, and I'll probably read it. But yeah. I got tired of reading blogs and comparing my life to theirs. So I'm not doing that anymore. I hope I offended no one by unfollowing you. Let me know, and I'll follow again.

So this was all just a big rant. I just wanted to get it out there. I still love you all. I'm not angry. I just want to get my blog back to being about real life. About writing what I love. About sharing my life with those I love.


The end. (Of this post. Not the blog. This blog will live forever.)


A+J said...

I love this post because I feel the same way too sometimes. I liked reading your thoughts. Real life is the best life.

Katie said...

Ditto to Amanda's comment...honest open posts are my very favorite kind of all the posts! I loved this one. :)

megan danielle said...

i have been feeling the exact same way lately...watching my views on each post and what not. goodness it is tiring almost. and all the blogs i follow that i dont even really read because i dont really even know the people! but i love your blog. and im excited for the whole honesty thing. those are always my favorite types of posts and what not.