3.21.2013

Indulgences

I don't know who you are, reading all sorts of random posts, and a LOT of them, every single day... I know you're not Joe because he's already done that... Well, whoever you are, you're messing up my stats and it's kinda funny. Haha. Stats. Math humor. Actually, it's not a joke at all. I just think it's funny.

To today's post! Ahoy!

When bad stuff happens, I tend to start justifying everything.
"Sorry professor, bad stuff happened, I can't go to school today." = EXCUSED! BAM.
"Sorry bank account, bad stuff happened, so I need to buy this dress. Also it's for my wedding so shut up." = PURCHASED! BAM.
"Sorry, human body. Bad stuff happened so I had to eat a bag of salt & vinegar chips in 24 hours to feel better!" = STAYING UP ALL NIGHT THROWING UP! BAM.

Ok, it wasn't all night.... But that happens. I justify things. Especially the eating really bad food. Which is why at the first of the summer, my purse was filled with a ton of taco bell hot sauce.


You truly never know when you'll need a ton of hot sauce. And of course, you need sunglasses to go with, so you look cute while shoving Doritos Locos tacos in your face. And the glasses hide your tears. 

What's more is that when bad stuff happens, I'm fully aware of what I'm doing, so I go with the quote-unquote "reasonable" (Rendunancy! Yay!) option of getting the "healthy" version of unhealthy food. Like... organic soda. Not sugar free soda, that stuff is nasty. But like... organic. Meaning that probably it was made by a bunch of owls or... owls with mustaches (because organic means hipster) farting in a pool of juice. Organic juice, full of the toe jam of the hipsters who squashed the fruits with their own feet that have never once worn a pair of shoes. Unless they were Toms. 

Organic soda is kinda expensive. 

Or! I'll buy apples. Apples are good and healthy right? They're even gooder when they're drowned in nutella. Or, because I spent all my money on organic soda.... "Hazelnut spread with cocoa" by Kroger. It's actually pretty good. 

In truth, I'm doing a lot better than I thought I'd be doing now. So, while I'm eating bad stuff because bad things happened, I really don't feel that bad. Well, I feel bad because I'm eating bad stuff.... but that whole thing I talked about in a few posts ago that I didn't REALLY talk about. I'm doing fine. So if you were worried, it's ok. Don't worry. That random blogger you have a deep bond with but have never met, she's fine. 



3 comments:

Michael said...

Your "bad stuff happened" line reminds me of the good ol' "thanks Obama!" lines. I like them both. Don't be hatin' when I start using yours more often!

Joe said...

Yeah, that random reader... It's me.

Lara said...

You sneaky mom ;)