8.05.2013

I'M AN ADUUUULLLLTTTT!!!!!

I REFUSE TO BE A PART OF THIS SYSTEM!!!! MAN!!!!!!!! (10 points to whoever gets that. Actually... 1 point. Because you should get that. And if you don't.... negative 9 points. I'm sorry. I know that throws stuff out of whack, but you should learn your youtube videos.)

I'm 21 now, right? That's awesome! Hey thanks! I know, right? Ah. Well. Good talking to you...

I mean hey wait! Come back. There was more stuff I wanted to say.

Let me tell you about this one time. Death was at my door, knocking knocking knocking. What's more, I had to take engagement photos the next day. I wasn't really into this whole "not being able to breathe through the nose" thing, or whatever people call it these days, and it made my face feel huge and puffy and no one likes to feel huge and puffy right before they pose for pictures.

So Joe took me to the grocery store and let me get some medicine! Afrin. That stuff. That stuff is magical. I'd never used it before, but it's like Moses walked up my nose holes and parted the disgusting sea. There's a pleasant image for you! As I was checking out from self check out, the helper guy was checking me out, apparently, but not in a good way.

"BOOP. Please show the attendant your ID."
He walked over and said "You're definitely not old enough to get that."
"What?"
"No, you're not old enough to get that."
"Check my ID!"
"I guess, but it's not gonna go through."

Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles, it went through. I had to be 18 to get it. At the time, I was 20 years old. Ok. So two years isn't THAT long, but apparently I didn't even look old enough to get ID checked?

At that moment, I decided something had to change. Apparently riding a scooter, wearing overalls, and doing your hair up in pigtails isn't the "mature" look. (Joking. I never did that. Though my dad did tell me one time if I ever wanted to get a date, I had to do my hair in piggies.)

What's more, here I am working in a preschool, and at times I have to talk to the kids' parents. That's not a very fun thing to do, and it's even less fun if you look significantly younger than 18, if you look old enough to be their own kid. I've heard the whole "Oh you'll be grateful you look young when you're older!" Alright, I'll roll with that. Maybe that's true. But in the mean time, I'm tired of not worth being ID checked.

It's not even like I'd do any of the stuff I'd need a 21 year old ID for, but it's nice to think I could, you know?

For example: Casinos. I cannot tell you HOW excited I am to go stand in a casino. Not to actually play anything, just to stand there. (FYI, I played Texas Hold 'Em this weekend for the first time and maybe it's beginner's luck and maybe it's just my crazy imagination, but I think I rocked at it. So I totally could pull in some cash at a casino.) I don't know why you have to be older than 21 to stand in a casino without glancing around nervously to make sure you don't get cop tackled and tasered. Maybe that's not really what happens, but that's what it feels like would happen, judging by the near-run brisk walk from the lobby to the hotel room I felt I should take every time.

Why do you have to be 21 anyways? It's not like there are strippers everywhere you go in there. Maybe it's because you'd die immediately from second hand smoke the second you stop in there if you are even a MINUTE under 21. Or maybe it's because kids are bloody brilliant at casino games and they don't want them cheating for any grown ups. Or maybe kids realize how pointless it seems to spend so much money in there on nothing, and the casinos don't want them opening their big mouths to tell everyone how stupid they are.

But then you turn 21 and you're stupid.

So I'm excited to stand in a casino. Yes. Yes I am.

I've been doing my best to look older, to look worth being ID checked. And it seems to have worked! I've been wearing nicer clothes, less t-shirts and camisols, more cardigans and... belts... is that? Is that grown up? I don't know. Sounds like it. I've been parting my hair to the side more often, which my mom told me makes me look older. Maybe it does? I don't know. But I do know that my hair has been getting in my face so it's really the only option I have for now. I'm not cutting my hair myself again. Not after last time...

Joseph and I had a lovely weekend. We hung some pictures on our walls. It's amazing how much it makes a place feel lovely and warm when you have pictures on the walls. We drove up north for a farmer's market, and we visited my Grams and Grandpop. We came back down to Lay-town (get it? Like Layton. Except I like to say "town" at the end of town names and it's too much to say Layton town...) and we got all dressed up to go to the Temple.

This is the third time this has happened.

Since we don't live in the same city as a Temple, it's a bit of a drive to get to one. I guess we live in Utah, so the drive is really no more than an hour, but an hour is a lot when it means gas and gas means money (and money means trouble. Which starts with a capital "t" that rhymes with "p" that stands for "pool!") So we drove all the way to the Temple, and it was closed. Again. This is the third time it's happened! I guess now it's kinda funny. Not really... But that was ok. We had dinner plans anyways, so the night wasn't completely ruined.

Olive Garden. And this time we both got something that was actually good! That's pretty much a first. But the gift cards were a wonderful present, and we weren't about to let a free meal go to waste.

The crowning moment of my adulthood so far was when the waiter asked if I wanted to see the bar menu. Was I going to get anything from the bar menu? No. Though, I did learn that you could get mock versions of any drink on there. I didn't. I got a cherry Italian cream soda, because come on. Those are delicious. But the waiter looked at me and didn't even tell me that I didn't look old enough to be ID checked. He just asked. And that was nice.

If you're my age, I think it's nice to be taken as older than you are. The ladies at the table next to us, not so much. Late 50s, maybe, and they were offered the bar menu. One said "That's very nice of you, thank you, but we're not 21 yet."

So I guess it's all just your point in life. But if you want to pretend that I'm 22 or 23, that'd be nice too. At least, until I turn those ages. Then maybe keep mistaking me for that until the day I die.

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