8.08.2013

Reasons To Start A Zoo

There's lots of reasons to start a zoo! Maybe you love and/or rock at Zoo Tycoon. (That's a game, right? If it's not, it should be.) Maybe you went to school for a long time and learned a lot about animals. I had to write a paper on penguins when I was in 5th Grade. I pretty sure that qualifies me to start my own zoo. Maybe you have a surplus of those misting things that are like God's love raining down from Heaven. That's a good reason to start a zoo too!

I've gotta say though, the biggest reason I can come up with to start a zoo is having too many pets. I knew a family, growing up, that had a ton of pets. Flying squirrels, mice, snakes, mice to feed to the snakes, dogs, cats... lots of animals. That'd be a pretty small zoo, but I'd call them zoo keepers any day.

I think I could start a zoo. I've got lots of pets! Two pet lizards. A pet fish. A couple pet peeves.

Remember that guy... Peeves? In Harry Potter? Was he in the movies? I don't remember. I just remember I hated him in the book. In first grade, there was a second grader who would call all of us "ickle firsties," just like Peeves. It drove me insane.

Pet Peeve #1:
Peeves.

Pet Peeve #2:
The worst thing ever, besides cancer and unsliced bread is falling into the habit of your own peeve. Doing what drives you insane. I didn't drive very often when I was a child (read "chilled", because I was cool). I got driven a lot. Driven to lessons, driven to school, driven to insanity. A pet peeve of mine was when people would text and drive. I hated that. I hated that more than anything. And unfortunately, when I started driving, I started texting and driving. Only at red lights, but even that would drive me crazy. It made me mad that I was doing this. I hate even more that I didn't just quit, I still did it though. And it drove me. To insanity. 
I don't drive much anymore, but when I do, I certainly don't text. I had to take responsibility at some point.

Pet Peeve #3: 
Smoking. Can't stand it, can't tolerate it. I feel like it is THEE stupidest thing a person can do. In Mormon culture Utah, you've probably heard of the Word of Wisdom. This means don't drink, don't smoke, don't sleep longer than needed, and don't over eat, or eat things that are bad for you. I get that it's different than what the world does, but I do it because I think it makes my body feel better. 
People drink, and that's socially acceptable and I don't judge those who drink because that's their thing, that's their choice, but it's not mine. I do, however, judge people that smoke, because, while drinking isn't normally considered to play a big roll in people dying, smoking IS considered to do just that. I feel like it's a pretty well understood fact that smoking kills you. And people do it all the same.
Ugh. Besides the fact that it stinks, makes your breath stink, makes your teeth horrible, and it smells bad. Oh, and it smells bad.

Pet Peeve #4:
Professors that expect you to take time out off your other classes to complete their class work. As in: Professors that make you go to seminars and projects and all that kinda stuff DURING THE TIME OF YOUR OTHER CLASSES. And if you don't do it, you fail. That drives me crazy. People always talk about how professors give you so much homework, as if they think you're only in one class. That's one thing. This peeve is something entirely else.

Pet Peeve #5:
I don't like it when something disturbs my hands while I'm asleep. I have restless hand syndrome, a condition that isn't widely known, nor is it a condition that I've actually been diagnosed with. I self diagnosed myself. Is that improper grammar? Shut up. Sometimes my hair brushes my hands when I'm asleep. Sometimes the air brushes my hands when I'm asleep. Sometimes Joe accidentally brushes my hand when I'm asleep. 
When this happens, one of two things follow: I wake up immediately, OR, my hands wake up and I stay asleep. Is that crazy? Are you calling me CRAZY!? WATCH WHO YOU'RE CALLING CRAZY, CRAZY! My hands wake up and start playing the piano to the music that's always in my mind when I'm asleep. This eventually wakes me up, which annoys me too. Or my hands wake up and punch Joe in the face. 
It's happened. 
I'm not proud of it. 
All of this usually leads me to waking up which leads me to...

Pet Peeve #6: 
Waking up.

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