9.30.2013

Fool Proof Future

Come one, no one in the entire world has sat down in the hall before their 100000-something day of class, and NOT had the thought cross their mind that they didn't want to do that anymore. Everyone has done that. No matter how happy you are at the moment. No matter how sunny it is outside, if you like sun, or rainy and foggy if you like that (I like that). Everyone comes to the point after so many days of repetition when they hit a mid life crisis, or a mid mid life crisis.


And that happened to me a while ago. It was actually at work, not school, but whatever. I sat in the ever peaceful naptime classroom, bored out of my mind, missing my husband, and not seeing a respite to this schedule of constant GO GO GO that had being GOing for several weeks.

So I hatched a plan. Feel free to borrow it. But just know that you got the idea from me, not the Swiss Family Robinson, not Castaway... Me. Lara Jean B├ęcar. You heard it here first.

Really, my main problem was that I was tired of the same old every day. BUT a large underlying reason for my boredom was the fact that I missed my husband. I thought "Hey! Why don't we buy a farm?" But farms are expensive and you have to do all this work to make a living and I just didn't want to do that anymore. What happened to the good old days when we didn't have money, we lived like cavemen, because we were cavemen. So here's my plan, step by step.

1. Take a few wilderness survival courses. Learn about plants and stuff like that... how to cut off an arm if you need to, how to sanitize water, the usual.

2. Buy a cruise ticket to some warm tropical place.

3. Go on said cruise, and enjoy your last few days with working toilets.

4. The cruise that you bought? Make sure they go by cute little ocean side towns, make sure the boat pulls into dock, and make sure you have a few hours to go walk around the town.

5. While walking around said town with your husband, you may be a bit uncomfortable. That's because you're wearing several layers of clothing and your pockets are jammed full of what you might need for the rest of your life.

6. Go find a boat shop.

7. Rent a boat.

8. Put the boat into the water.

9. And float away. There's gotta be tons of small islands out there that people don't really visit. And surely they have plants on them. Surely there's fish in the water. Surely surely surely you can live!

10. Don't die.

So there you go! 10 steps. Fail safe.

In other news, if you people stop hearing from me, um... I'm probably like... really busy or something, don't worry about me, it's ok. No need to check in.

NOTE: This plan can be adapted for mountain areas, meaning, you can run away into the mountains, just know that it may get a lot colder, and maybe there are bears. With islands, all you worry about are sharks and mysterious beasts, and that's not that bigga deal.

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