My name is Lara, and I've got a goal in life. I want to make a difference. That phrase "If you want to know how much you'll be missed when you leave this life, stick your hand into a bucket of water and mix it around and pull it out." It's pretty true. For the most part, the grand population of the world will not remember me. No one will quote me. But I want someone to remember me.
I made a mistake. I thought that I'd accomplish that by making an impression on the blog world. I tried and failed, in my opinion. I've realized that I don't want to change the world through blogging, I want to change the world through the way I live, through the way I treat others, and through the children I teach. Not through the words I put up on the internet. That's just not for me.
I've been looking at my really old posts. 2010 posts. (This blog is THAT old.) Know what? I was laughing my head off at them. I think they're some of my very best writing. And I wondered why I had no interest in what I was blogging these days, and then it hit me.
In 2010, I had maybe 8 followers. In 2011 I got my large following, but 2010 I was an internet nobody. My posts were so good, because literally, NO ONE read them. It was just like real life for me, what I was writing was who I really was, because I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I just wrote what I found entertaining, and it was entertaining to me! Fast forward to now, I have a significantly larger following. That's not a problem. Let me compare it to life, for a moment.
I wonder how many people go through life knowing maybe 8 people. Not that many. For the most part, we meet hundreds, maybe thousands of people. And we remember them. And we love them. But those who are happy do not change their lives in an attempt to entertain others. Those who are happy do not change who they are to gain more friends. Those who are happy are those who are truly themselves, and find friends by being truly themselves.
In the past few months, I don't know if I've been truly myself on this blog. I've been obsessed with getting more readers, more comments, more traffic to this blog. I don't know why. I guess I could make money off of it but really, I don't need that. So lately? I've stopped. I've stopped looking at stats. I've stopped going to bloggy groups looking for attention. I've started blogging like no one reads, and once again, I like my blog, and I WANT to blog. It's not a chore, it's a pleasure!
Now for the second part of my post title: read like no one blogs. When was the last time you walked into a book store and just BREATHED? It's glorious. Books are beautiful. There's so much to find in them, and every time you read the same book, too. It's one of the best things.
Now, not to shame my blog, or other blogs, but reading blogs is nothing like reading books. Not for me, at least. It's not the same.
Maybe this whole "reading" thing is just an analogy. I have a confession. I was letting important things, such as work, social interaction, and just general improvement and growth, slide, at the hand of reading more blogs and finding out what makes a blog popular, or just reading them to feel like I was "in". I've quit. I haven't quit reading blogs, but I've started to read other books, and just LIVE like no one blogs. If I see something I like, then I read it. (And I will say, there are a good handful of blogs out there that I'll read every time because I find the material enjoying and entertaining.) But reading these internet things is no longer a priority in my life. Life is a priority in my life.
So meanwhile, yes, I sponsor products, yes, I do giveaways, and yes, I'm totally an enabler in getting people to blog by designing. Blogging is NOT bad. But when my blog stops being my blog and starts being a blog for the peoples, then it isn't uplifting anymore. It's degrading.
I encourage EVERYONE to share their life through their blog. But let it be about you, your experiences, your knowledge, what you've learned, what you want to share. And I think everyone in the blog world would be a lot more happy if they stopped changing to please others, and blogged to enrich their own lives, in whatever way that may be.
I guess it's ok to be selfish at times.