To Whom It May Concern;

Today's blog post is brought to you by the city folk! And the letter 10! Shoes, that's humiliating. I actually didn't mean to write 'letter 10'. Well that explains a lot of my state of mind today. To my bamboo plant; Come on now. You're 2 inches tall. Stop drinking so much water or I'll slit your throat. I know where you sleep. To the man dancing at the train station; Everyone can see you, and obviously you're the only one with headphones. Stop it. People are staring. You're embarrassing me. To the word embarrassing; Stop being so hard to spell. Tell that to your other little friends like definitely and... yeah. To the nice young gentleman walking around with his pants hanging low wearing whitey-tighties that weren't so white any more with his ball cap on backwards and a pen behind his ear eating a banana; You have a long name. And yes. You do look ridiculous. Mission accomplished. To the woman driving well over the speed limit with her window down who sneezed incredibly loudly at me; Gross. And bless you. And gross. Mostly just gross. And a little confusion in there... To the stalker man I run into at Smiths every week; ... To the general population; Stop looking so astonished when you hear I'm a Mathematics major. It's insulting. I got the straight across bangs cut to maybe give off a smart vibe. Pay attention to that. To my Mathematics Professor; Thanks for providing me with a mild sense of entertainment. You should be on a children's television show. To the word 'children's'; I thought you were a word, you clearly let yourself go. To my MG friends; Have super fun tonight, wish I was there! Ya'll rock. To my sunglasses; Stop breaking. I mean it. (Anybody want a peanut?) To the rest of the general public; Yes, I say 'Ya'll' and 'You betcha'. Doesn't mean I'm a hick. You're a hick. I'm finished writing for now, read through my private personal letters to random people and objects as you will. Expect to hear a knock on your door from a not-so-friendly policeman soon as you will.