Hah. I'm so stinkin clever. See what I did there? I changed the word Zodiac to somewhat imply that it's a zoo... and that's what I'm going to talk about in this post.

I. Loved. Christmas. Break. I loved going to Arizona and visiting my family, and visiting my awesome Aunt in Vegas, and crashing buses into exploding cars and having airplanes graze my eyelashes. I loved being in 800 degree weather on Christmas day and eating soup for dinner on Christmas and going for insane bike rides. I loved going on a hike in Ogden in the winter and almost getting stranded on the mountain and dying.

And I'm  not even being sarcastic with all of this, I'm not even kidding at all! I soak up all of that like I'm a stale bread bowl full of the wettest soup in the world.

And then school was all "Lawl I'm gonna start again and make your life a living nightmare!"

Things kept popping up. Everything from scholarship problems to learning I have to write a 15 page essay to boy problems to heart breaking news and I'm all...

What the heck school? I thought we were tight yo! Holler? No? Ok. I see how it is.

(Note: Today, things were made better by the fact that I met a guy who's name was Max Hall. And he doesn't hate me.)

So things were just going crappy and I had no idea what was up and things were just ergh.

And today I found out what the problem is.

The stars decided to have a party on New Years and they got all tipsy and now they aren't aligned. Friggin stars... So now I'm a Cancer.

Thanks a lot stars, you know, I expected a lot more out of you. This isn't how we raised you. And now millions are suffering from your life decisions. You might want to sit down and think about the choices that led you to where you are today, and seriously reconsider them, because this is inexcusable. For real.

Take some stars to rehab as you will. (No, the kind of stars that are in the sky you fools.... like... astronomy and stuff? Take THOSE stars to rehab. Those are the ones we should worry about.)


Anonymous said...

You're not a Cancer, you weren't born 2009 or later :) You're still the same sign. I freaked out too thinking that I was an Aries, but I'm still a Taurus. We can all be happy again :D

ShannonRose said...

You freakin make me laugh. I'm glad you found a Max Hall that doesn't hate you!

sarcasm397 said...

I will always be a Pisces. so there.

chip said...

I am a Leo. And I almost got scared that I would have to change, because that's almost as dramatic as seasoning your salt (it's been done by crazy people), but then it was all better. YAY.