5.31.2013

The Crazies On The Bus

There's a Crosby sketch about how there's always a nut on every car of the subway. He was talking about New York or something, but the same is true for every form of public transit in Utah. Here are a few examples.

A few days ago, I got on a train and a woman pointed out that she liked my sunglasses. She then proceeded to talk at such a speed that I thought she was speaking a different language. *I* talk fast. But not that fast. Never that fast. Put your finger between your lips, move it up and down quickly while going "Uhhhhhh..." and that's what she sounded like for five minutes straight.

"IhavetowearglassesbutIalwaysforgetbutIhavetowearthemandmydoctorsaysIalwayshavetowearthembutIforgetandit'sonlybeentwomonthsbutIforgetandhegetsmadatmebutit'sonlybeentwomonthsandIalwayshavetowearthembutIalwaysforgetandIgetintroublefrommydoctorwhenIdon'twearthembutIalwaysforgetandsoIhavetoremindmyselfandblablablablablablablalbalblalbalblablalblblblblblblblbblblblbllbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb"

I shook her hand, told her it was nice to meet her, got off the train and walked back to the car behind.

I sleep on the train because it's a bit of a ride, and I like to sleep before getting beat up at work. So here I was. On a car. Those cars are pretty long. Two, three buses long or so... here I am on one side. Happily sleeping. When on the OTHER side of the car, I hear a woman talking so loud I could hear every detail about her conversation. Which was about religion. I'm all about religion. I'm all about sharing religion with those around you. But not through talking loud enough that everyone within a 5 mile radius can hear your private conversation with your neighbor you just met. It was so loud. I was so mad.

I got to work tired....

Later that day I was informed that I'd be seeing this woman every day. Not only seeing her, but associating with her.

I'm set up to fail. HOWEVER.

A good thing happened in that my work has changed for the following weeks, I'll be working with older kids in their summer camp rather than the younger kids in the preschool classroom.

So that'll be fun!

The last guy is named "Mystery Man." I've been telling Brittany about him.

This man has a thick large full beard. It's so fluffy. He has puffy eyebrows. He wears pioneer clothes all the time. Earlier this week, he was reading "The Art of Blacksmithing". The following day, he was reading about building cabins and underlining furiously. The next day, he was eating a go-gurt and the illusion was shattered. Today, he was wearing a t-shirt and reading the blacksmith book again. T-Shirt isn't really in his line of mystery, but it did say "Enginerd" on it, so that made things better and made up for the processed food he consumed.


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