12.07.2014

Our "Children" + EXCITING NEWS!

Joe and I have had a couple of creatures in our care since we met.

Samson
Stupid
Tomato
Hitler
Ferrari
Baby


aaaand that's it.

This last week Baby, our fish, died in a horrific accident involving forgetting that we had a fish and letting our house get too cold and then trying to give the poor girl some warm water and ending up dropping the fish on the ground and then that was pretty much it. It was a travesty.

Just a few words about Baby
Baby was a sweetheart. We bought the beta as a baby and named her Baby. It was a big debate as to whether Baby was a boy or girl, but we settled on girl, after a lot of marital disputes. Baby was very social and would acknowledge you when you walk in the room by swimming around her bowl very fast. She loved people and was not one to hide. She was so sweet.

Now we are left with Hitler Confederate Sprinkles. We call him Hitler at home but Sprinkles in public so people don't think we are evil. And we have Ferrari, the American Wizard.

Here is a little info on each of those.

Hitler Confederate Sprinkles

He was adopted. He was my brother's lizard and I adopted him. My brother wanted a nice lizard that you could hold and play with. We should have known the second we saw Hitler that he was NOT that kind of lizard. He escaped when they were putting him in his carry home box and ran a muck around the store. Brian thought he could tame him and that couldn't be further from the truth.

Hitler sulks in his cage under a rock, plotting the destruction of humankind. His cage is full of coconut dirt and dead plants that together looks like an evil jungle, which suits him because he is evil himself. He bites people and draws blood if you let him. Hitler lives off a diet of a ton of water and worms, dead or alive. He does not like to be seen but if you lay on the floor very quietly a few feet from his cage, you can see him dart out, devour the worms, and dart back under his rock.

Hitler is invincible. Because he refuses to be seen, we kinda forget he exists. Because we are terrible parents. It is a good thing that babies cry and stuff to remind us that they exist. Hitler has gone without food and water for weeks at a time and still he lives. He will always live. He will outlive everyone alive on the earth today, and everyone alive forever. Because he is the animal embodiment of pure evil and cannot be slain.

Ferrari the American Wizard

Ferrari was purchased at the size of a quarter, and has turned into something of a fat slob, but he is our pride and joy. Ferrari does not like to be touched on his back, and will arch it up and stand on his toes like a cat if you touch him. Ferrari lives of a diet of living worms, but not just living. They have to be very active worms, athlete worms. If they are not, then Ferrari will turn his nose up at them. This is ironic because he is a terrible hunter. For a while, if he saw us getting food for him, he would ram his nose against the glass of his tank trying to get to the worms. Now he doesn't do that, but he debates for hours on end, staring at his bowl, trying to decide what worm to eat, turning his head side to side. And when he decides which one to eat, he jabs at them over and over until the worm either dies, and Ferrari loses interest (because athlete worms, remember?) or he picks them up, drops them, and then loses interest and goes without food. Nonetheless, he is fat. Super fat.

Ferrari walks delicately and deliberately everywhere he goes. He is interested in jumping off the edge of our bed, and loves to run around the bath tub, figuring out how to get out. Ferrari does not like to be touched by the things in his cage and will go to bizarre, extreme, extents to avoid getting touched by anything, be it his bowls, his moss, his various rocks, or his fake plant.

And now a note on our worms, because they are living too.

The worms are boring, except for the fact that if the slightest hint of water gets near them, they will writhe in agony for 32 seconds precisely before dying in the most dramatic manner. They cannot stomach the slightest bit of moisture. They are wimps.



And lastly for those promised eXcItInG nEwS aNd UpDaTeS!!!!!!!1!!

Joseph is accepting an amazing job in Phoenix, and we're so excited to start a new adventure in the REAL sunshine state (move aside, Florida...) in May!




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